Ruined (Harry Styles)

Chapter 20

HARRYS POV
What the fuck? I grip my hair at the roots pulling in frustration. You're a fucking idiot Harry. I should have just taken her home and put her in her own bed. I know what's going to happen now. She is gonna start falling in love with me. And the last thing I need is for that picky girl in there to think I'm her Prince Charming. Far from it. Fuck I've messed this up. Those big grey eyes that stared at me before she fell asleep though. They keep haunting me. I can't get them out of my head. I promised my self I wouldn't get close to her, and this is too close. The last thing I want is her to wake up and have some heart to heart and find out every little detail about me. Cause her curiosity is far more dangerous then her love. She's lethal, she just doesn't know it. God she could break millions of hearts if she wanted too. Those lips, the way her mouth moved, I could tell she wanted it. Fuck I need a distraction. For gods sake why can't I get her out of my head? I need to get out of here. Away from her.

"She's the last girl I would have picked for you to fuck around with." The sound of Niall's Irish accent rings through my ears, getting drowned out by the music playing in the house. I bring the scotch to my lips letting it burn my throat on the way down as Niall sits on the stool next to me.
"Or the first." I mutter not really wanting to have a conversation with anyone right now. I love Niall and all but hell if Kurt Cobain was to walk in here from the dead, I would turn my back and continue to drown my worries in the glass of alcohol in front of me.
"So where is she?" Niall raises an eyebrow, while he taps his finger to the obnoxious song playing.
"Where's who?" I don't want attention brought to the fact that I helped Macy when she was too intoxicated to help herself. Anybody else would have interfered the same way I did. Which is why I don't understand the reason it's brought so much attention and which is why ill be avoiding these conversations like the
plague. He's right, I never would have done this, not for anyone.

"Don't play stupid Harry. Where's Macy?" Niall is being dead serious now, I'm great at lying, but I've known Niall long enough, and that boy is far better then me and could sniff out a lie from miles away.

"Sleeping." I say as bluntly as possible. Bringing no emotion to my voice.
"Harry, you didn't have Se-"
"Fuck Niall, no we didn't have sex, you think I'm fucking stupid." I groan.
"Okay geez man, I get it. But you shouldn't be hanging around her Harry. She's a nice girl."
"You think I don't know that Niall." I mumble knowing exactly what I shouldn't be doing, but doing it anyways.

The two options I have.. I don't particularly like. Either way is fucked up to me. I can try and get along with Macy, but will keep my distance from that emotional attachment she so desperately craves probably because of her shitty ex boyfriend. I can do that...for one reason. To prove to myself that Macy Falton means nothing, that I can keep my emotions at bay despite her unknown abilities to pick me apart. That she is temporary, she was a part of my past. But I can move on now, without her being a part of my future. Present and that's all. Or I can simply continue what I'm doing now, ignoring her and every blank stare that comes my way. Pretend she doesn't exist, she'll still be in my past, however when I'm alone, stumbling down the streets because of the amount of alcohol ive consumed I can tell her big grey eyes will pop into my mind, making me rethink everything i've ever done. What I did in the past. My reckless years. She'll ruin me from the inside out. Both ways sound like hell. Pure goddamned hell.