The Empty Parking Lot Across the Street

Part 8

My body felt a wave of panic. He was actually going to answer me... Why?

"What's wrong?" -Jake

What do I say? Why am I texting him again? How is this happening?

"I'm depressed... Me and you know who broke up a while ago." -Me

"Well, I always have a shoulder you can cry on. I'm good at that stuff." -Jake

"When though? haha." -Me

"I'm not doing anything right now." -Jake

I was ecstatic, but I was nervous. I hadn't felt that much closure in my life. I wanted this. I wasn't planning on doing anything sketchy, I just wanted to see him. I wanted him to see me.

"Before I say anything else, I want to say that I'm so sorry for what happened back then..." -Jake

He frantically began to apologize to me. I didn't really expect an apology, but I took it. It has to mean something right? Maybe he's grown and learnt from it. That's relieving to think about. This rekindling of our friendship, or whatever it was, could be good for both of us.

I offered to drive this time. It was almost like we never stopped seeing each other. Literally driving down a road of memories, I came upon his street where he asked me to meet him and my heart was pounding.

Part of me didn't want to get out of the car and face my demon. He wasn't a demon anymore though, right? This is good... Right? I couldn't question myself any longer because I saw a figure walking into the light on the street: same style, same body, him. As we stared at each other through my car window, smiles showed on both our faces. However, I didn't know what I had just gotten myself back into.

Conversation started with what you should expect to speak of with someone you haven't seen in a long time. I felt comfortable and content. We headed to a Walmart for 'old time's sake' and picked up a Razzleberry Peace Tea. He remembered exactly which kind I liked... It was different this time though, because he picked up a pack of cigarettes. Gross... He looked a bit more grown up. He was 19 after all. But his personality hadn't changed at all. He was the same old Jake. I just hope he isn't EXACTLY the way he used to be, if you know what I mean.

As we traveled to a nearby park, he told me what had been going on with him: a few girlfriends, an almost fiancé, getting into cigarettes and jobs he's gotten. Before I could figure out where we were going, I had already pulled into the same park we were the second-to-last time I saw him... Why here? I complained about the location, but he fired back with an explanation about him wanting to create new memories where there were bad ones. Did that mean the memory with me? We sat in the exact place we had been in before.

Things started going through my mind. Like what the heck is his plan here? I thought we would be messing around on the playground and laughing at each other. It was silent. I initiated movement by going to a table under the lighted pavilion. As I began to lay down across the uncomfortable structure, he stood on the bench below the table top and stared down at me.

"Whatchya doin?" he questioned in a playful tone. I recognized that tone. I missed that tone.

"Thinking," I responded not really knowing how to answer.

He sat down and played with my shoes trying to get my attention I assume. Untying them and pulling on the laces. I chuckled at him with a quick 'oh my' and pulled my legs to my chest to tie my laces. I could feel a sudden tension between us. I tried to ignore it, but he spoke and made it interesting.

"Is it weird that I really want to kiss you?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Uh... I don't think it's weird." I answered hesitantly. I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with whatever 'this' would turn into. Temptation peaked in my mind and I remembered his touches and the kisses I so desperately wanted.

Being obvious of what his goal was, he suggested we get into the car because it was getting cold. We sat awkwardly in my dad's Toyota Sienna van. I'm not sure exactly how it lead to us cuddling in the passenger seat, but I sure do remember that kiss I received from him after all this time. Kissing lead to making out, and making out lead to us taking off our shirts. Also I ended up straddling him. It was at this point where he said, "Wow, you've opened up a lot," referring to how comfortable I was doing much more than he remembered.

I hesitated letting him take off my bra. I knew he wanted to, but I couldn't get myself to do it. He convinced me to take it off myself and we cuddled throughout the night. He caressed my hair complimenting its soft texture. One line has stuck with me from that night: "You're not a 15 year old girl anymore." It was pretty obvious how attracted to me he had become again, if not more than the time prior. I was 17, with pretty blue eyes, dark hair, a skinny figure, and I knew I had assets both in the front and back. I'm no supermodel, but I agreed with my proportions.

As the night continued, he started acting a little out of line... He noticed how consistently I was hiding my chest. I guess he thought it was "cute" or something to forcefully pry my arms apart like it was a game. He was honestly probably trying to make me laugh but be a bit romantic at the same time. I was very uncomfortable with this though. I had said no and stop, and played his little silly game to the point where I got serious and wanted to put my shirt back on. He got his peak, and finally let me settle back in. I was ashamed and felt like he should have understood and respected my hesitation.

I went home early that morning trying to figure him out. I texted him as soon as I was safe and not caught. I knew that I was going to be seeing him again.