The Empty Parking Lot Across the Street

Part 10

I'm disgusted by his intentions. They usually come out when he's drunk, high, or both. I encountered him one night while he was under the influence and he verbally let me know that I had a hot body. I froze in complete surprise and confirmation that he was basically keeping me around for my body. It all took me back to when we first started sneaking out. It wasn't for my body, was it? He didn't even really touch me at all... Now all the sudden, he's in it for my body because I let him in closer.

We got pulled over one night while he was cross-faded because I didn't turn on my lights. He talked me into coming to the city he was in an hour away for no reason at all. He had alcohol in his possession and he got caught with it. He made a lame excuse that it wasn't ours but a friend's. He had to pour it out so the cop would be doing his job in keeping under-aged young adults within the law. He complained about it. I wanted to push him out of the car. I could have gotten arrested. He could have gone to jail once they figure out he was already drunk and high.

To this day, he had talked about this experience as if it were funny. "Remember that one time we got pulled over?" ... Really Jake? You think that was funny? How about me driving up there the first time that night and you being nowhere to be found? How about when I got home and the second I'm safe in my house you call me begging to come back? How about when we parked and you sat in my car and fell asleep without giving me a second glance? How about when you finally told me where you "needed to be,"? Which was the exact place I picked you up from by the way. Why did I come Jake? It's still a mystery!

A few weeks later I had gotten into a relationship with a guy which is a different story... But Jake still pursued me. He still wanted to hang out. I hadn't talked to him for a while since the almost-rape. This new boyfriend wanted to have sex with me, and I was okay with it... Until it brought back the memory of Jake being above me with his eyes closed continuing to attempt having sex with me. It brought me to tears and my boyfriend couldn't understand what I was going through, but he was accepting and comforting. I eventually did give him my virginity. And I do not regret it. I loved him and he loved me unlike anyone had. Especially Jake.

This same boyfriend and I found out we were pregnant with a baby girl. About three months into this pregnancy, Jake decided to acknowledge my existence and got me to hang out with him once again. My boyfriend and I had broken up like we'd done at least three times by then, so it was one of those relationships. I wasn't okay with cuddling Jake. He took me to his apartment that he didn't live in for very long after this, and tried to get cozy with me. A few minutes before this, I had looked at his phone when he was texting someone named 'BAE'.

He's doing it all over again. Multiple girls, and this time another girlfriend he's cheating on. I had to call my 'ex' at the time and tell him where I was. I was super hormonal and I couldn't let Jake sit there and sleep with me by his side again. I cried and he didn't even notice. My 'ex', being a bit controlling even though we weren't together felt strongly that he would have to call the cops if I didn't go home away from Jake. He did that a lot: tell me to leave because "his baby" could get hurt. Heaven forbid these two ever met in person...

Guess what happened? They were both coincidentally on a train that traveled through the county at the same time. Jake was not surprisingly on his way back from jail for stealing at a store, and my boyfriend was on his way to my house for an adoption meeting. Yes, we adopted our baby out to a better family... I'm still not sure what happened... But I know things were said and my boyfriend told me that Jake was cocky about being my friend and how we used to be a thing... He was lying to my boyfriend. We were never a thing and he knows it. He just wanted to piss my boyfriend off. I couldn't believe him.

I was texting Jake and to my surprise he actually texted back. He has been to jail before and asked for a ride home which I didn't agree to doing. I was sure he would ask. I started texting my boyfriend at the same time and suddenly...

"I'm with your boyfriend." -Jake

"What? Are you joking?" -Me

"No we are both sitting on the train."

And then my boyfriend...

"So I met Jake. And I fucking hate him." -BF

"What?" -Me

"I can't believe you still hang out with him. He says you're texting him right now too..." -BF

"I don't talk to him all the time. This is the first time in months. He ignores me." -Me

"He just told me you guys always hang out." -BF

Why would Jake lie like that to my boyfriend? He obviously has no real interest in me. After that whole incident with him cheating on his girlfriend with me, I had to find out who she was so I could tell her myself if he wouldn't. Apparently my boyfriend had messaged her all about it too and mentioned the fact that I was pregnant and how gross he thought Jake was... This girl is one of my best friends now. She has a better boyfriend and better life with him than she would have ever had with Jake.

This has to end. I have to let go of Jake and kick him out of my life for good... At least that's what my therapist, friends and siblings say.