2 // DRESS // JEDDY

// fifteen //

jamie hurriedly stumbled out of their bedroom. there was no point in saying teddy's bedroom. jamie spent nights in there more often than not. but that wasn't to be on jamie's mind at the moment, the almost romantic side of his and teddy's situation. he really shouldn't be concerned about that right now.

because he fucked up. really really badly. but he would fix things, he had to. "teddy i'm going out."

teddy got up of the sofa and walked up to jamie. strands of jamie's hair had fallen in his face in the rush to get out the flat, teddy brushed it away from his face. "where to? you sure you're ok going out on your own?"

jamie nodded, but teddy still looked at him with concern. they both knew the hidden meaning in the question. teddy wanted to know where jamie was actually going, if he'd be safe, if he was sure he could do this by himself. the last couple of times jamie had been out the flat, teddy had come with him. neither teddy nor jamie trusted him to go out on his own and not be tempted to visit his dealer once again. the withdrawal was hard, it wasn't easy, and jamie already knew that. it was teddy who believed it wasn't going to be this difficult. for the both of them, more so jamie than teddy.

"j, you're shaking. come here." teddy wrapped his arm around jamie, pulling him close to his chest. this was where jamie felt safe. with all the shit going on around them, he actually felt like things would be ok when he was with teddy. but he couldn't get distracted, he had to go, he had to see al.

"i fucked up, teds. with the post, i ruined things. i'm going to al's, he needs me."

"want me to drive you?" teddy pulled away from the hug and began searching around for his keys, until jamie wrapped his hand around teddy's arm, stopping him in his pace. he slid his hand down from teddy's bicep to his hand, holding it gently.

"it's okay, i could do with the walk to clear my head." just as teddy was about to speak (jamie knew what he'd say), jamie began talking again, a kind of that's-so-typical-of-teddy smile on his face. "and no, you don't have to walk me there. i know you worry, teds. but i'm good, i just need to make sure al is alright."

and so he left their flat, giving teddy a quick kiss before he went. jamie arrived at al's flat around 10 minutes later. every step he took felt like forever as his nerves caused his whole body to shake. he tried to control it, but his pace just increased as he practically begged his body to calm down. yet, he carried on until he reached al's.

time had given jamie a while to ponder. he knew he shouldn't have, but he let his mind wander to him and teddy. teddy fucking lupin. their hookups became more frequent, but as did their love. was love even the right word to describe it? that feeling jamie got in his chest (his heart) whenever teddy smiled at him. the warmth he felt from post-sex cuddling (did normal friends with benefits cuddle? did they lay there for hours, arms and legs intertwined with each other, wanting nothing but to stay there forever?). the need to laugh whenever teddy did something funny or cute (just friends didn't find each other cute). or the brief kisses they gave whenever they'd leave or just watching a movie, when teddy would wrap his arm around jamie, bringing him close, and placing a delicate kiss on the top of his head (they were practically dating). was that love? more importantly, how did teddy even feel?

all thoughts of his own relationship left his mind as he arrived at al's. the sight broke jamie's heart. there was albus. he wasn't in his flat, rather sat outside, on the front step of the building, probably wanting to do anything but go inside. he was sat, knees pulled up to his chest, his head buried between them. what had jamie done to his brother?

"al?" jamie spoke and his head shot up. the first thing jamie noticed was al's bloodshot eyes; a heartbroken red. then he took in the whole picture of al, it was something that he wished would never stay in his head. his brother's feelings, he knew they were fragile. no matter how strong al tried to pretend he was, jamie knew how breakable he truly could be. and that's what jamie had done. broke him.

all because he couldn't think properly, especially about the consequences of his actions. but albus wasn't allowed to know why that was. al didn't need to burden of jamie's addiction on his shoulders as well as his own problems. jamie couldn't do that to him. jamie also thought he couldn't hurt al like this but here they were.

al didn't seem as if he'd get up, so jamie just sat down next to him. he slung an arm around his brother, pulling him in for a hug. and if jamie thought al had been bad before, he wasn't ready for al then. sobs wracked al's body, as he shoved his face into jamie's chest.

they sat there for ages, time didn't matter. only albus mattered then. "let's get you inside."

albus visibly recoiled and started to shrug off jamie's arm. uncertainty filled jamie's body at the discomfort of al. he couldn't have done something wrong again. jamie was sick of doing things wrong all the time. but this one, he'd make right.

"i can't go in. i can't see him, jamie." al shook his head, and jamie rushed to reassure him.

"you wanna stay at mine and teddy's?"

the simple question fell out of jamie's mouth before he knew what he was saying. there would be so much to cover up. albus couldn't know about him and teddy being, well, him and teddy. they had to keep it confidential, no matter how much teddy's eyes practically begged to see jamie in a state of undress.

"please."

so jamie called teddy, asking if he'd pick them up, also adding to make the flat look presentable, and the other bedroom look partially slept in. teddy came as fast as he could, the two brothers getting into the car. both said a quick thanks before teddy sped off again, back home.

cups of tea and cuddles under blankets, watching the lorax ("of all the films, why this one albus?") for probably thousandth time ("piss off teddy, i'm sad and heartbroken.") could only do so much to help al. the rest would come gradually.

///

ahhh i'm so so sorry this took so long
hopefully it's good ?? idk ??
seeing more behind the scene of haywire ooo