2 // DRESS // JEDDY

// thirty //

these careless comments traded between friends suddenly felt a lot more important to jamie than he actually realised. it was a joke; teddy was joking. there were no big declarations of love, no singing birds and descending cupids with bows just waiting to shoot a love arrow into jamie's arse. it was a comment, not even a serious one. but it was still playing on jamie's mind ever since teddy had messaged them to the brighton chat.

this brought him into the situation he was in now: post-coital cuddling in pyjamas (literally just boxers and a t-shirt) with the man he was in love with, his head rested on teddy's chest, the older man's arm around his body. not that teddy knew any of what jamie was feeling right now, how could he? presumably, teddy was just hooking up with jamie - a quick shag now and then. he probably had no clue what he did to jamie, how he made him feel (like his lungs were closing up, and teddy was the only thing that could allow him to breathe again).

but jamie had to put those feelings aside for this one night, and talk about the other things he was feeling. an example of this could be wanting to talk to teddy about why he was suddenly flirtatious in a group chat with most of their friends/family, and how now it was probably really obvious that they were shagging, or maybe their friends could even believe they were dating. but it's just an example, jamie hadn't even thought about how to bring it up. he was too preoccupied with something else involving his mouth and teddy.

now though, now was a good time. if jamie didn't bring it up now, he knew he never would. courageousness wasn't something that came easy to him, despite most of his family having it practically flow through their veins. jamie was more brash, doing reckless things before even thinking about the consequences (see: sleeping with dylan, actually fighting teddy, fighting with fred, sleeping with teddy, posting his brother's instagram draft about the guy he was in love with when he clearly wasn't meant to, amongst many other things). but now it involved feelings, and that wasn't something jamie was so good with, preferring to let how he was feeling take a back seat, when anyone else's would be riding shotgun.

this time around, he had to let teddy know how he felt about the flirting. if he did it now, he wouldn't have to do it later. and god knows jamie really didn't want to let these thoughts drag on any longer.

"hey teds, can i ask like why you were being kinda flirtatious on the brighton chat?"

he said it now, there was no going back. teddy slowly opened his eyes. jamie didn't realise they were closed, and now he's disturbing teddy from relaxing with his overthinking. this is a great start, this is a really great start. nice one, james. "hmm? what do you mean?"

teddy didn't even know what he meant! oh god and he had to explain how he interpreted the comments. this was a mess, this was well and truly a mess. it could not have gone worse (what jamie didn't know at that moment was that it really could get worse). struggling how to phrase it, jamie half mumbled out a reply. "i guess your comments were just really suggestive of something happening between us. i didn't want them to get the wrong idea."

"and what would be the wrong idea?" jamie's head slid down from teddy's chest as teddy abruptly sat up. jamie felt teddy's body tense underneath him. oh bloody fucking shit. this was not good, as signified by the loop of oh fuck playing over and over again in jamie's head. jamie also sat up, positioned so that he was facing teddy.

"like us in a relationship, kinda." jamie's spike of braveness at even mentioning the comments was quickly fading away, and anxiety was soon making his heart beat way too fast and his palms sweaty. "or maybe they find out about us, you know, sleeping together. i just, i don't know."

teddy shrugged. "j, it was only a joke. you don't need to worry about it."

didn't teddy think that jamie was trying not to worry about it? every thought since those messages had something to do with teddy, or their friends knowing they were hooking up, or possibly even dating (in jamie's dreams). he couldn't help but worry about it; it was just too important to him. "i know it was a joke, but what if they don't think that?"