Where She Belongs

A Warning.

It was nearly midnight and sitting on my bed, I stared at my phone as if it held all of the answers. Perhaps it did. Perhaps fate or destiny or my guardian angel might now decide to call and tell me what to do; or at least hint at it. It hadn't happened yet and I didn't think it ever would although slowly, some things were becoming clearer now. 

I never fitted in among the wolves and pack because I wasn't like them. I was vampire. For years I had wished for a place to truly belong, to have people that just got me and I could be my true self with - if I ever worked out who Samara Franklin actually was. Even with my human friends I wasn't like them. We had enough things in common, they didn't judge me like the people from home did and so I found them easy to be around. But the feeling I always had, that something was different, that this wasn't where and who I supposed to be had never left. I drank too much to try and silence it. I kept myself separated from those in my life so it couldn't constantly remind me that everything was wrong. 

I ignored it. 

I fought it. 

Then I met Aiden and the walls that kept this feeling caged, fell apart releasing it out into the world. It had become a force of its own and tore apart everything I knew and trusted. The only part of my life untouched by it all was work and really, if not for having the boss I did and Hannah keeping the peace, would have also imploded on itself by now. She had submitted a leave application as me a few days ago which gave me two weeks off for personal reasons. I knew I'd have to give her some kind of explanation eventually, but not now. Not today.

Picking up my phone I created a message to send to David. Then cancelled it, before doing it again. I left the open screen in front of me, wondering again if my phone was actually some kind of secret magical device and it would just come up with the right words on its own. Maybe there was some kind, ghost summoning thing Brianna could do that to it so the stupid thing could work out my stupid complicated life. I looked after it well. There wasn't any chips or cracks on the screen and I generally kept it well charged. My phone owed me a lot.

While I had willed the words to appear, Aiden had come in and positioned himself behind me. Like a great big blanket he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close, as I wished I could just melt into him and disappear to where it was safe, warm, familiar. Leaning back against him, my eyes closed.

"Tell me what to do." I sighed.

"I can't do that." He whispered by my ear.

"You were right about everything else so far, so just tell me."

"It doesn't matter what I think, because you will be the one to live with the decision you make. I've tried to stay neutral, failed, but tried, as I won't let this come between us. I am here for you, no matter the outcome, but that has to be of your own doing."

"So suddenly your Switzerland in all of this? You hate him and want him dead." I snap, unsure where the anger had come from. 

Aiden shrugged slightly. "I told you I tried to stay neutral. I still am."

"If he lives, you will be okay with that. You won't resent me or still have your own mission of revenge to take him down?"

"Yes, I'll be fine with it." He answered simply.

"I don't believe you." I huff, slipping out of his hold to turn and face him. 

His face was set like stone and as his eyes met mine, I had to look away as I knew that was the wrong phrase to say. I did believe him. He wasn't the kind of guy who would tell me what to do. He said his bit, told me his thoughts, but he never actively worked against or stopped me. Even when I came clean about my little visits with David, lied about the course - kind of, defended him after the werewolf attack; Aiden made sure I knew his thoughts and he left the rest to me. He trusted me to make my own decisions, even now, I knew without having to ask what he wanted to do, but he wasn't pushing them onto me. He wouldn't change my mind or make me do anything that wasn't of my own doing.