the amnesiac

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Hannah?" My mother says as she puts her hand on my shoulder. I still haven't gotten out of the car. I was too busy staring at the hell breaking loose in front of me. "Sweetie, I know you're nervous, but..." I zoned out, not caring to listen to her anymore. "I'm fine," I say as I get out of the car in the middle of her "I'm-a-good-mom-cuz-I'm-telling-you-it's-gonna-be-okay" speech. Yeah, I didn't have time for that. I walked away without saying goodbye.

I first walk past the band. In their bulky uniforms and zit-covered faces, they looked geeky as ever, but they kept their cool, not caring about anyone else. I knew they weren't my friends, because they didn't even bother to look my way. I wouldn't mind being in their group, but I didn't know whether or not I played any instruments. Put that on the "Things To Ask Mom If I Do" list. Yeah, I just made it up.

I walked past the fangirls and gay guys, who were all holding hands and squealing. I covered my ears and winced. I Really hope there isn't more where that came from.

I walked past a couple making out on a wall, but averted my attention to a tree so I can give them the privacy that they probably don't even want.

I then walked past the cheerleaders. Some of them- the prettiest ones with the bigger boobs- were sitting on the large cemented railings with their jock/football-player boyfriends, sluttily swapping spit with each other. The rest of the cheerleaders- the shorter ones, still pretty just not as sexy- were doing cartwheels on the lawn and practicing their flexibility. I'm guessing that they're the single ones of the group and were only there to try to steal the boys' attention. They are a disgrace to all humankind, I think to myself. I turn and start to walk away when I hear someone behind me say, "Hannah?" Oh no. I put on a fake half smile- the struggle is real- and turn around slowly. "Hannah!!" one of the skinny big-breasted cheerleaders squeals. She runs over to give me a hug, squashing her tits against mine. She finally let's go and takes me by the shoulders, looking me up and down. "Where's your cheer outfit?" What?! There is no way that I am a cheerleader. No way in hell. She stares at me, wide-eyed. "Um, I, uh-" She sighs and drops her hands. "I guess we'll have to ask if Linda has any extras." She smiles and turns around, saying her hips as she walks back towards her boyfriend, who sloppily smashing his tongue against hers. She turns back towards me. I haven't moved. "Well, come on." I shiver and walk towards her. As I reach the pillars, everyone else finally notices I'm here. I really wished that the cheerleader had been my only Friedman from the popular crowd, but now I know differently.

"Hannah." Someone on the left says my name in amazement and- I'm pretty sure- disgust. "What the fuck are you wearing?!" I stare at her in amazement. "Excuse me?" I say boldly. Her head moves back a little, as if she was shocked that I said that. "You look like a band girl." Yep, the disgust is there. "I, um," I shake my head, not comprehending what is so wrong about that. She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Whatever," she says as she turns back towards her boyfriend and seems to forget I was ever even there.

I sigh and look around, waiting for someone nicer to recognize me. A shortish girl with a young face- a freshman, most likely- walks towards the school many feet away. She catches my eye, and I smile, but she just blushes, squints her eyes- almost as if she doesn't want to cry- and walks even faster to the building, not even glancing my way. I sigh, frustrated. I can hear the slurping and smashing of lips from two feet away, so I try to move. Three feet, I still hear it. Four, it's still there. Five I can't get it out of my head. I feel like I'm going to puke. I try moving another foot, and the bell rings, saving my ears from the uncontrollable PDA behind me. I race towards the building and find my first class. (My mom had told me which one that would be, and where it was, so I already knew.)

I walk into my Algebra II Honors class, trying to avoid as many people in the hallways as possible, already wanting to go back home. "Hannah!!" I jump at the sound of my name in someone else's mouth (again, unfortunately). I look up to see who it was and breathe a sigh of relief when I realize it was my teacher. "It's great to have you back!! How's your head?" he asks. "Good, it's good. It's good to be back," I lie. I smile and look around to the rows of desks, not knowing which one is mine. The teacher- whose name I (duh) cannot remember, seems to realize this, and he motions to a desk in the front. "Right here," he says with a smile. I look at how many people are sitting behind that one desk. Dammit.

I breathe in, take a seat, breathe out.

This is going to be a long day.