All of The Stars

Chapter 2 Alessandra

❁Alessandra's Po'v

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I loved the affect the alcohol had on me. It made me forget about my life, it was an escape. It made me happy and loud my friends call me wild and I feel alive when There is alcohol in my blood. I swing my hips to the music and let the bottom of my small shot glass point to the sealing. I swear I can see tiny little stars.

" Claire I can see stars!"

I told my friend. She turned her head to me and laughed. Her green eyes filled with happiness.

I was at a pub with my friends Claire and Karen we got wasted and the goal of the night was to find a boy to have some fun with. Well that's the goal for them. I used to be just like them. We used to be the golden girls. The boys would drool after us and the girls where jealous. But I've changed. I'm tired of playing games and boys only wants one thing from girls like us.

I'm not searching for love like they say they do, to be honest I'm afraid of love. Loving someone is just a new way get hurt in. My friends says that they change boyfriends all the time because he wasn't the right guy. I've never had a boyfriend it seems way to... Way to risky. And it doesn't bother me at all. I've been with boys If I'm gonna be completely honest a lot of boys but I've never felt connected with any of them. Once they get to close I run away. Some people call me a slut, whore or what ever but I don't care they should mind their own damn business. It's not like I get paid. Sometimes people just like what they see when they look at me and decides to make it theirs. After years of fighting for some kind of dignity and not letting boys playing around with me I gave up. I just played along and by time I learnt how to make my own moves in the game with out rules. I was completely lost in my own thoughts when a felt someone tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Karen standing behind me with a boy.

"Baby I'm going home with Josh, no one is home at my place but ask Claire if you can crash at hers?" -she said with a small voice.

"um sure have fun" I said and turned back to my drink.

Karen knew very well that I had no where to go. Things where a bit messy at home so I asked her if I could stay at her place and the plan was to have a sleepover just Karen me and Claire but I guess plans are changed now. Claire had already went home so I had really no where to go. Going back home wasn't a option so I guess I just have to sleep on some bench like I used to. I just have to find a safe place where no one will find me because I know what people would do if they found a drunk 20 year old girl in the middle of the night all alone. It just wasn't safe for me. I decided to get my shit together and leave the bar, maybe I could just walk around all night. That would be more safe than sleep on some random bench. I stepped out side and it was so cold. I cursed for not bringing a jacket it was September for god sake! Just to make my life complete it started to rain. I felt how the cold drops started to drown my body and I felt warm tears start to stream down my face. I love the rain. When it's raining my tears turn invisible, impossible for others to see. It was so nice to finally just letting it go. My memories from my past came to me every time It's raining. I get flashbacks from things that hurts me those things that made me the way I am. I can't say I'm proud of who I've become but I'm still here. So many times when the rain has been pouring down over my head I've been ready to end it. Just jump, just cut a little deeper, just press the gun against my head and shoot. But every time I decided against it. I some how see a light and that little light gives me hope. It makes me believe that maybe one day all of this will be over, I will forget my past and move on. That day is far away but I'm hoping , I'm praying that one day, maybe one day my life will have a turn. Because sometimes life does beautiful things.

I wasn't able to stand up so I just leaned against a random door and sat down. I closed my eyes and prayed that no one would find me here and hurt me. My eyes grew heavy as I looked up to my favourite thing in life . The night sky. The stars gave me hope, they where just what I was looking for a light in the dark. And the moon the biggest light and also the closest, my symbol for the light that one day will come to me and make me wonder why I ever wanted to leave this world. I brought my knees to my chin and wrapped my arms around my knees as I slowly drifted of to sleep.

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I'm writing in two Point of Views. The way the boy, William sees it and the way Alessandra, the girl sees it. I won't always tell the same "story" from Boths po'v but you can always see in the first page of the chapter who's po'v it is (: Hope you like it please comment and tell me what you think xx Ella❁