MY SUMMER DIARY (Completed)

DAY 17

I'm still feeling bad until now.Nakakahiya yung ginawa ko.Hindi ko na alam kung paano pa ako haharap kay Andrew o kung kaya ko pa bang humarap sa kaniya pagkatapos ng nangyari.Kung bakit ba naman kasi pinairal ko yung katangahan ko.

Andrew tried to call me but I didn't answer.After what happened, I lost all the guts to talk to him.Ano na lang kaya ang iniisip niya tungkol sa'kin?Na easy to get ako dahil ako pa yung unang gumawa ng move?Ano ba naman kasi ang naisip ko at ginawa ko yun?I already made clear to myself that I won't ever count on someone who only show motives but didn't say it through words.Alam ko na yan!Pero bakit kabaliktaran ang ginawa ko?Ako pa talaga ang unang nag-confess sa kanya ng nararamdaman ko?!Ang tanga ko talaga!

Ayaw kong magkwento okay?Hindi ko kaya!Gusto ko ng mawala sa isip ko ang pangyayaring yun!That's a big shame on me!Paano na lang kapag pinagsabi-sabi ni Andrew yun?Nakakahiya!

I talked to Jona later this afternoon. I asked her to come over.Mina wasn't available. I told her about what happened and she's like "So, kinarir mo na talaga yung sinabi ko na chance mo na magka-lovelife?Iba ka Marica!For sure na-turn off sa'yo yung tao". Great, right? She's really my friend.

Mas nadagdagan tuloy yung bigat na nararamdaman ko dahil sa sinabi ni Jona.Maling mali na siya yung nilapitan ko.Puro katotohanan yung sinabi niya.I mean, sana naman nagsinungaling man lang siya kahit konti para gumaan yung pakiramdam ko.I don't know how to avoid this mess anymore!I'm the one who started it in the first place.

Kahit naman anong iwas ang gawin ko kailangan ko pa ring kausapin si Andrew.I need to make everything clear.Gusto kong magpaliwanag but at the same time ayaw ko siyang kausapin.Maybe I could tell him that I was just kidding? That everything that I said was pure fun only?

On the other hand, wala namang masama na inamin ko yung feelings ko diba?Totoo naman na nagugustuhan ko na siya dahil masaya siyang kasama at na-e-enjoy ko yung company niya.I like him as a friend and as a person.Iyon naman talaga ang totoo.

I thought he's feeling the same way as mine.I thought he's starting to love my company too.I thought he's also going to confess his feelings for me that day.Reality speaking, it was all just my thoughts. Poor Marica.

Akala ko pa hindi ka mag-e-expect?