Tour•Jaegan•

05

Warning: a bit of harmful thoughts or actions in this chapter.

Justin, Raegan and Tyler were all on the plane.

It had been about an hour since they have been in the air.

Nothing big had happen since Tyler was awake, but he recently feel asleep.

Raegan was dying. He was dying to cuddle justin and play with his hair until he feel asleep.

Raegan craved for Justin's lips to be on his.

That's all he ever wanted since he saw justin early this morning.

Justin on the other hand was confused.

He was confused on what he wants. All of the feelings that he felt with raegan circulates his mind full of thoughts on what would their relationships would have been if they were still together.

Would we move in with eachother ? Would we buy eachother promise rings ? Would we be the ones doing a jaegan tour instead of a jyler tour?

Justin thought.

He looked over at raegan. Staring at every move he made every breathe he takes.

" Like what you see ? " Raegan asked.

" Um sorry "

" What are you sorry for ? " He whispered.

" For looking at you "

" Oh... There's no need for you to say sorry "

" Uhhh, yes there is. I was literally starting at your face. It's weird " justin  spoke.

" It's not weird when you like what you see "

" Raegan "

" Justin "

" Kiss me "

Raegan leaned his head closer to justin. Both of their heads meet. Justin looks up into raegans eyes. His almond colored eyes.

" I can't " justin pulls away. He sighs. He couldn't do that to Tyler he couldn't drag himself to cheat.

Justin wasn't a cheater. Yet again this was raegan. His first love. He would kiss raegan in a heartbeat right ?

" Why not " raegan groaned.

" I can't do that to Tyler... "

" But I thought you loved me? "

Justin didn't know what to say of course he loved raegan. He loved him more than anything, but he also cared about Tyler. Hes dating Tyler for god sake.

He couldn't bring himself to break Tyler. He didn't deserve it. Tyler was good to Justin.

Justin enjoyed that. He enjoyed feelings loved and cared for.

Not that raegan never provided him that cause he did, but raegan wasn't there all this time they had been apart. Tyler has.

Tyler was there when justin was falling part. The sad thing is Justin is still falling apart.

Him and Tyler where supposed to get better with eating, Tyler was getting better, but justin? He lied; he lied about getting better to Tyler.

He still skipped meals , he still made himself vomit after he ate, he still continued to drink water to make it look like he was gaining weight when in reality he was just bloated.

Justin hated lying. Hated it so much.

But he couldn't stop.

He didn't want to stop.

He liked feeling this way.

He liked destroying himself, and he never really understood why he enjoyed doing it

It's just always been a habit for him.

Skipping meals, cutting, etc

But he stopped cutting. Justin got tired of hiding his scars he felt ugly. He felt so, so disgusted.

But yet again not eating was way better in his mind then cutting. 10 times better.

" Let's just get some rest. "

" Goodnight raegan "

And with that justin faced Tyler's direction , layed his head on Tyler chest and closed his eyes.

His throat burned from chocking his tears.

He swallowed and took a deep breath in then out and proceeded to hide that fact that he wanted to cry, and that raegan was crying too.

I updated idk today I feel motivated to so here you go. If you're lucky you will get another update tonight.