Random Crappy List

2nd List: How Evil Are You?

Hey there, buddy. Easy, hold on for a minute.

This chapter is for the sole purpose of spreading evil and catastrophe. So if you're into rainbows, unicorns, boy bands, and all that shit, Fuck you! (Peace nigga) but if you want to continue, better brace yourself 'cause the moment you dip your toes into the pool of sinful deeds , there ain't no comin' back!

Thus, If you want to see Darth Vader split Luke Skywalker into two unequal parts (with intestines hanging out and blood pouring down) using his motherfucking awesome FX Lightsaber, or if you switch into Nickolodeon and watch as Swiper eats Dora's brain (yum, yum yum, yum, yum, delicioso!), or perhaps Bella Swan being mauled by vampire, werewolves, monsters, fairies or anything... ANYTHING just to shut her up then, you came at the right place.

Well I woke up to get me a cold pop and then I thought somebody was barbequing. I said oh Lord Jesus it's a fire. Then I ran out, I didn't grab no shoes or nothin' Jesus, I ran for my life. And then the smoke got me, I got bronchitis ain't nobody got time for that. -Sweet Brown a.k.a. BADASS

Now, to know if you're ready to join the forces of darkness and conquer the world, here's a test you must take.

1. Which is your most favorable activity?

A. Cleaning.

B. Throwing dirty clothes everywhere.

C. World Domination and enslavement.

D. World Domination and enslavement in order to be forced to clean your room so you can throw dirty clothes everywhere again.

2. You just saw a man fall off a cliff. What would you do?

A. Watch with a horrified expression.

B. Scream.

C. Laugh and call him a stupid retard.

D. Run downhill to check if he's still alive. Drive a butcher knife straight into his heart if he still is.

3. Have you ever stolen something?

A. No!

B. Just office supplies and other pointless stuff.

C. Occasionally.

D. Yup, nuclear material, neurotoxins and nerf guns.

4. There's a movie where this couple kills people and cooks them up to serve at their restaurant.

A. Get out.

B. Ew.

C. This movie is hilarious.

D. *busy taking notes*

5. Do you have any pets?

A. Two legged puppy.

B. Three legend puppy.

C. Albino snake.

D. An aquarium filled with piranhas, electric eels and killer sharks.

6. Your boss is...

A. Not just your co-worker but also a friend.

B. Snobbish.

C. Annoying.

D. Soon to be eliminated.

7. You and your friend are trapped in an elevator.

A. We'll get out, together.

B. Ignore him/her.

C. Tell him/her you two are going to die.

D. Eat him/her. You don't want to starve.

8. Is killing wrong?

A. Hell Yes!

B. Well, I guess not.

C. It's Ok.

D. Hell No! You should be shot for even asking.

9. There a child in the park, hopping while singing a happy tune and holding a balloon.

A. Pat her head and watch her go with a smile.

B. Snub her. She'll grow up and be miserable in no time.

C. Trip her.

D. Pat her head, cut the string of her balloon then trip her, add a blow straight to her stomach. Watch her limp away with a smile on your face.

10. Greatest threat to society.

A. Alcohol and Cigarettes.

B. Drugs and Cocaine.

C. Miley Cyrus, Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber, Amanda Bynes...

D. Me.

Tally up your answers by counting the number of times each letter was connected to your responses.

Mostly A's

You are categorized as Little Skittles. You're so nice you'll be puking rainbows anytime soon. With that said, you do not possess the necessary qualities to become an evil-doer. If you have time, try this tongue twister, it'll make you a tad bit of a badass:

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

Not a punt cut square,

Just a square cut punt.

It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

P.S.: Dear Lord, please stop watching My Little Pony.

Mostly B's

Fuck you asshole!

Mostly C's

You are categorized as Menace Apprentice. This simply means that you're there, but you still have a long way to go. Being evil isn't a job, it's a choice. So if you choose to be bad, with or without protection, take it all the way, baby. That probably doesn't make any sense to you. Well guess what? It didn't make any sense to me, either! High Five!

Mostly D's

*Damon Salvatore's voice* Hello brother.

You and I can make the world jealous, 'nuff said.

P.S. *bow down*

Whew! So, whether you want to do this irregularly or make this your full-time job, I don't really give a shit. You think I care about you? Fuck you, rot in hell motherfucker (peace nigga).

Ok, but seriously, whatever your background or experience, rest assured there's an aspect of evil that's right for you. It doesn't really matter if you're a softie or a hard ass, what matters is you're a pain in someone's fuggy butt and there ain't no way they can get rid of you. Hang in there brotha'!

Toodles (cough) I mean, See you when I see you... WE OUT!

Count Carnal Maggot Picklesworth: Signing out