Altered

Chapter 6 Part 2

6.2 Brief Happiness
Every encounter you make is unique; some people are only meant to pass by. Some are meant to stay in your life for a few months, maybe a few years. Anyways, people come and go. That's what I have learned from when I was young.

I never knew my father in the first place. I only remember my godmother, Evelyn, cursing him out for all the pain he caused mom. There has always been some disagreement between Evelyn and mom on the topic of my father. Mom would always stop Evelyn whenever she cursed father out, saying that she understood why father left.

"No, Evelyn. It's okay, I understand. I really do," She repeated those words like a prayer, so that she would understand it too someday. She never deserved father leaving her. She was just a woman with a heart too big with too much love for everyone.

Even though I thought that my father would be the only one leaving my life, my mom did too. Mom was diagnosed with a sickness practically incurable for Rusts, because of the exorbitant fees the treatments cost even for Gems and to some Diamonds.

She held on for five years of good and bad, and those years were some short terms of optimism as her health continued to deteriorate. There was almost nothing that we could do to help her. Money just wasn't enough and I didn't understand much. Neither did Caden. Only mom and Evelyn did, and I guess the decision to stop fighting was the best according to them. I didn't understand what adults think.

Even when she was fighting for her last breath, her values and thoughts never changed. Forgive those bullies, Mark. Love them as you would forgive and love yourself. I just screamed at her in anger when I was in primary school, not understanding the logic and reason behind her overflowing love for people. Even the last sentence in the last letter she gave me, she wrote: "I will always love you and your father, Mark. Death will not mean the end,"

Mom finally passed when I was 14. My reaction to her last letter was various. I went through a stage of grief, anger, then grief again. Reading the letter for the first time, I cried and locked myself in my room, only leaving to eat hours after Evelyn and Caden had eaten already. About the third and the fourth time I read the letter, I was furious with the way mom worded the letter, even when she was gone. I thought it was selfish, always full of blind love for the man who loved her only for a few years but left her to suffer the rest of her life. In a way, I thought that my mom was delusional for always thinking that father did things right.

I was caught up in a dilemma reading and rereading mom's letters. She said a bunch of things that I didn't understand, only to realize that they were actually clues for me to meet my father.

But why in hell would I do that?

Speaking truthfully, that thought probably only lasted for 3 months. Thinking about it, there is a possibility that finding my father had something in store for me. As much as I thought that my mom was delusional, she's not dumb. Not the least bit. She was just lacking opportunity, as simple as that.

I finally deciphered the message in the last letter. There was an actual reason why she hinted about my father so many times.

2 years later, I left Evelyn and Caden to search for the father who was never there for me. My father, who was nothing but a piece of my memory became a priority. Instead, Evelyn and Caden became nothing but a piece of my memory.

It was a very confusing decision to take, but what's done is done. I forged a new life pretending that I didn't exist in a time where I had a family (actually, two families) and lost them. Instead, I started from scratch pretending I was already a lone wolf.

Somehow, I wasn't alone anymore.

—xx—

1 year ago