Descending || m.c.

Chapter 3

6:34 AM

Sunlight beams through the sliding glass doors on the adjacent side of the living room, barely enough to cast a shadow on the furniture, making long dark shapes appear on the floor. I sit propped against the arm of the couch, my legs thrown over the cushions in front of me. I had slept a total of four hours, if that, before forcing myself out of the bed to come sit alone in silence. It couldn't be much worse than the teasing and taunting voices that lingered in my dreams, or the ache in my chest that told me Michael wasn't okay. Michael has been my best friend for almost five years; I've known him since he was an awkward, lanky thirteen year old with an odd sense of humor. I watched him grow up and I knew him inside and out. He wasn't okay.

My phone vibrated beside my leg; a new message on the screen from AJ appears. She's the only friend I have back in Sydney besides these boys, the only person I could think to text when I woke up earlier. Hey Hadley, I'm sorry I couldn't reply sooner. I was out with friends but I feel horrible for not seeing your message sooner. What's going on? What's wrong with Mikey? I cringed; it never set right with me that she'd call him Mikey too. Of course the boys had called him that, but her, it was never something I was partial to. My fingers flew over the keys explaining his behavior last night and how it literally tore me apart to have him lie to my face about being okay. I set the phone down, willing myself to send the message and not tear up; this whole situation had tore me up actually. I find myself biting my nails, waiting on her reply and then wondering if texting AJ was even the right thing to do in the first place, but I couldn't exactly go talk to Luke, Calum, or Ashton about it. My phone vibrates again. Do you still like him? You seem to care about him an awful lot to just be his friend, Hadley.... My heart race quickens; I had never in my life breathed to anyone that I like Michael, especially not to AJ.

"Hadley?" a raspy, sleepy voice says, catching me off guard. I jump and shove my phone beneath my thigh before looking up. Michael stands in the doorway of the hall, the white t-shirt he wears hangs loose on his shoulders and his dark hair sticks out in every direction possible. My breath hitches in the back of my throat; he looked so at ease, with his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. His eyelids drooped enough that he probably could have fell asleep standing there, and I'd never found myself wanting to just sit with him all day and do nothing than in this moment. "Earth to Hadleeeey." He waves his hands back and forth as he walks towards me and takes a seat at the opposite end of the couch. "What are you doing up so early?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Mikey," I say; I felt my phone vibrate again beneath my leg, surely AJ wondering why I'd opened her message and not answered. I glance at Michael and he raises his eyebrows.

"You gonna answer whoever that is?" he asks. "Who else in their right mind would be awake this early?" I just shrug. "And I'm up early because we have to be. The boys are up too, but after I noticed you weren't in your room, I came to find you."

"Why?" I ask.

"To check on you," he almost whispers. 

"Oh." I find myself fighting the urge to smile.

"You came to check on me last night and I was just returning the favor," he smiles.

"Are you okay?" I ask and he nods. I tilt my head to the side. "Mikey..."

"I'll be okay Hadley, trust me, it's fine," he urges. "It's no big deal and there's no need to worry about me or anything. I swear."

"If you're not okay and I find out later, I'll kick your ass," I say, sitting up to punch his arm. "I mean it."

"Oh, I know you do," he laughs, his smile instantly sending the butterflies filling my chest directly to my stomach. "I gotta go get dressed for rehearsals, okay? I'll be back soon." He gets up, leaving me alone again. I pull my phone back out and hit the home button. 

HADLEY RAE YOU DO LIKE HIM OH MY GOD. Her message sends color to my cheeks and I'm thankful Michael isn't in here now. 

AJ SHUT UP this is a matter of him being okay or not this is not about my feelings for him... I never told you about that I don't understand how you even knew. It was a lie, it was a total and complete lie. I totally understood how she knew; it was completely obvious. I just didn't like admitting this to anyone, not even to myself. I couldn't like Michael. I just couldn't; he's my best friend first and foremost and he sees me as nothing more.

I knew because I'm one of your best friends and because when we all hang out you stare at him as if he's literally the only person in the whole damn room that matters you idiot. You should see how much you smile and how happy you are just when he's around... He turns you into a completey different person, Hadley. It's a good thing, why don't you just tell him? I let her question hang in the air for a good twenty minutes, not answering her, not even trying to. AJ would tell me it was stupid and the worst thing that could happen would be him not feeling the same way and what she didn't understand was that that would be the absolute worst on me even knowing he didn't feel the same.

I hear cheerful laughter coming from the hall and before I can think, I type out I can't and hit send before tucking my phone away. The four boys enter the living room and Calum has his arm thrown around Michael's shoulders, laughing and trying to pull him into a headlock. 

"Fuck you, Calum, get off me," Michael laughs and it only makes Calum try all the more to win. You'd think they were all five year olds in reality. Calum finally releases Michael and while the rest of them flood into the kitchen, Calum comes over to me. 

"I apologized to Michael, and I figured I should to you as well," he says, tucking his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans. "I shouldn't just mess with you guys and try to say shit like that especially when it's aggravating to the both of you. So, I'm sorry Hadley."

"It's okay, Calum," I say. "Thank you." He nods and joins them in the kitchen. Never in my life would I ever join those boys for breakfast; it was a never ending battle of who ate the last bit of vegimite, or who gets to have the last of the cocoa puffs. I'd just make myself something later; it wasn't worth it.

Moments later they come into the living room, followed by Liz. 

"We're leaving, Hadley," Luke says.

"Oh, okay," I reply. "That's fine, I'll see you guys later." 

"You're not coming to rehearsals?" Michael asks, and I stand up revealing I'm still in my pajamas. "It doesn't matter what you're wearing!"

"Mikey, I just wanna stay here, I didn't get much sleep. Your show isn't gonna be any fun if I'm sleepy," I insist and he frowns. "I'll come later, okay? I promise." I hold out my pinky and he takes it with a grin. "I'll see you later?"

"Later," he agrees.

"Aw, isn't that--" Calum starts and I shoot him a look. He drops his head like a child that's been scolded by their parents and all I can do is laugh. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I laugh. "Bye guys." They all file out the door one at a time into the car waiting outside. Liz stays behind saying I don't need to be left alone and for once I don't mind. Luke's mum was always nice and having her in the house was better than being the only female here. But for now, I was heading to my room for more sleep; I had been telling the truth about that part at least. I check my phone and see one more message from AJ: You can and you should tell him, but I can't make you. So in the meantime, just check your email. I sent you a book another friend made me read in a PDF file. Maybe it'll get your mind off things for the day. Love you x. I lay the phone down on the nightstand, leaving the message unopened to remind myself when I woke up to check it, although I doubted it could make me think of Michael any less than I already did; the boy was on my mind constantly, every single day.

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A/N: i just wanted to say hi to anyone that is reading this; i'm not even sure anyone has to be honest even though it says people have. but if you like this story so far, please give me some kind of feedback or just tell me how you like it or if you like it at all. you can always tweet me @spideycliffords :)