Michael's POV
"Mikey, I just wanna stay here, I didn't get much sleep. Your show isn't gonna be any fun if I'm sleepy," she says and her head tilts to the side as that one smile, the innocent grin she's done for years, the one that now had my knees going weak, appears on her face. It was a shy, small smile, nothing big. I shouldn't be affected so much. "I'll come later, okay? I promise." I'm struggling to hear her words as she holds out her pinky; I do my best to grin and take it in my own. A stupid fucking childish gesture and one little smile and she had me. She didn't even have to do a thing and I didn't have to beg her to come along; I just gave in. "I'll see you later?"
"Later," I agree, hoping she doesn't hear the almost crack in my voice. My entire being was screaming at her from the inside, telling her to come along but my mouth said something different.
"Aw, isn't that--" Calum starts and I watch Hadley shoot him a look. He drops his head and I almost laugh at his expense. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Hadley giggles, her eyes lighting up. "Bye guys." We all start to file out the door, only to hear Liz call out that she's staying behind with Hadley, something about how she shouldn't be left alone here by herself. The four of us file into the black SUV waiting for us outside, distant screams from a block or so down fill the air and are soon silenced by the doors of the vehicle closing. I could understand why Hadley wasn't used to hearing that, neither was I. The car starts, and the further away we get from the house, the madder I get at myself for not asking more than once for her to come along.
My phone buzzes, Hadley's name appearing on the screen. Liz says we'll come before rehearsals are up. We'll be there an hour or so before your show starts. I just need some sleep. See you then Mikey :) My hand goes up to my face, rubbing at the stubble on my chin before covering the smile that appeared. My heart swelled over a text message; it wasn't anything meaningful even. This girl, my wonderful, amazing, best friend was on my mind every single hour of the day and she didn't even try to be. It wasn't until she came on tour with us, it wasn't until I spent every day with her that it started to feel like I craved her attention; I didn't want anyone else to want her like I did. I wanted to be the one she hung around the most, the person she leaned on or went to when she was upset. And even now I notice that Calum picking her up to spin her around yesterday had made me so damn jealous of how easily they could do something with her without being accused of flirting.
Flirting? Is that what we did? I stare out the tinted window of the car and push away the feelings that I knew were there. Maybe they had always been there but I just couldn't do it; I couldn't put her through any hurt or any worry and it would be entirely too hard on me if her feelings weren't reciprocated. My chest aches.
"Michael.. Michael!" Luke shouts, nudging my arm and pointing to the door of the SUV. It's just then that I hear the chants from the fans waiting outside the venue and I'm greeted by the warm, LA sunshine beaming from the open door. I climb out behind Luke, choruses of screams filling my ears. My eyes dart from left to right, and for a moment I see Hadley in every single one of these fans standing before me.
"Mikey, are you okay?" a fan asks, a small girl of about fifteen. For a moment, the nickname falling from her lips forced me to see Hadley's face not her own. I blink rapidly forcing away the image and smile at the young girl, nodding.
"Yeah, I'm fine, cutie," I lie, watching her face light up. "How are you?" I stay where I am, letting fans come to me and not caring to move while the rest of the boys wander through the crowd. It's only when I hear their shouts do I follow them to the door of the venue and into the coolness of the building. I feel like I'm in a daze, dragging my feet through the halls absentmindedly behind everyone.
"Mike, you okay?" Calum's hand shakes my shoulder and I blink rapidly before nodding. Why was everyone asking me if I was okay?
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A/N: sorry this is so short it's just a small filler chapter to show you how michael feels about all this :)
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Descending || m.c.
Fanfiction"And I don't know, Mikey. Maybe I am crazy like all those people say I am, but it's like we're in a descent that only goes deeper and deeper, making it harder for me but also easier because you're all I've ever wanted.."
