4.23.15

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11:44 a.m

Dear Louis,

Harry stopped by today. I was lying  in bed when I heard someone knocking on the door. I didn't have the will power to  get up to answer it, so I just stayed in bed and and shouted asking who it is. I then heard Harry's voice and I froze. I haven't spoken or actually seen since you left, and I don't know if I could face him yet. 

Minutes later though he was standing at the end of my bed, he looked as bad as I did. Puffy bloodshot eyes dark purple circles sitting under them, a beanie covering his messy curls. He was wearing a pair of grey sweats and his old Ramone's tee shirt, I was in a similar outfit leggings and one of your old striped tee shirt. His green eyes bore into mine and we stared at eachother for atleast 10 minutes.

''How have you been holding up?" He asked raspily.

"I'm not." I told him truthfully. He slowly walked closer to me and sat on the edge of the bed.

"It's going to be okay." He said gently. I shook my head, because Lou it's not going to be okay. I'm not okay without you. 

''It's going to be okay." He repeated louder and I shook my head yet again, tears pricking my eyes.

"It's going to be okay." He said once more moving closer to be. How can he think that? Lou you were my are everything so it's not going to be okay. I started sobbing unable to control my emotions, I felt Harry's arms wrap around me holding me as I cried into his chest.

"It's going to be okay." He whispered in my ear. 

I don't believe Lou, because I'm finding it hard to live in a world without you.

love,

your ella

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