Love's New Hope

Nightmares All Around

Bucky quietly loaded his gun. He was being sent on a mission after who knows how long. The coolness of the gun served to calm his nerves. Of course, his nerves were essentially nonexistent. They had long since been beaten out of him. He was little more than a machine and had been for a long while.

"You understand the target?" His commander asked him.

He gave a slow nod, unable to speak through the thick mask.

"She will try to get in your head. Do not allow that. A quick, easy kill. That's all we want. Understood?"

Again, Bucky, or rather the Winter Soldier, merely nodded.

"Good. Go."

The next thing the Soldier knew, he was picking the lock into the young lady's apartment. Even though he was perfectly silent, she heard him and pulled a gun on him the second he slipped into the door. But he too was fast and slammed her into the wall, wrenching the gun from her grasp. His metal arm tightened around her neck as he got a good look at his target for the first time. She had long red hair and piercing green eyes.

"James," the girl whispered, barely able to make a sound. "Don't you remember me?"

The Soldier hesitated, but not long and without another thought, shot her twice in the gut, dropping her and looking around for something.

"James..." the girl whispered. He turned back and suddenly recognized her.

"Natasha," he said softly, kneeling beside her. "What have I done?" He held her for the few moments she had left in this life before he screamed her name...
*
Bucky woke with a start, sweating heavily. He ran a hand through his short, now sweaty, locks of hair and glanced over at Natasha, who was still sleeping soundly in a loose fetus position. He breathed a sigh of relief. This was the fourth night in a row that he had had that dream and it terrified him as much now as it had the first time. He let out a quiet sigh and swung his legs off the bed, walking over to the moonlit window.

Bucky rested his forehead against the cool glass and closed his eyes. This dream was killing him. Every time he dreamed it, he had to try to convince himself that Natasha was fine again. It had been several days since he had seen Steve last, right after Steve had brought Natasha home again, so he couldn't talk to his best friend about it. Talking to Natasha about it seemed off the table for now. He wasn't even sure that he would be able to approach her with this. Bucky was honestly surprised that she hadn't woken up yet, but he supposed that he must not have started screaming yet, though he certainly felt like it enough.

Suddenly he felt a gentle touch on his bare back. He tended slightly before relaxing into Natasha's gentle embrace. Though Bucky had been quiet, Natasha had sensed the disturbance in her husband for the last few days, but had wanted to give him a chance to get over the loop by himself. But now, she knew that he needed help.

Natasha buried her face into James's back, wrapping her arms around his torso. After a moment, he placed his hands on hers, intertwining their fingers.

"James?" She asked quietly, resting her chin on his shoulder, tilting her head so that she could look at his face. "Everything all right?"

He sighed and rested his forehead back on the window. "Shouldn't it be?"

"Hey, now, don't redirect. You know what a fabulous spy I am." Her voice held a teasing tint to it, but she was serious. And Bucky realized that.

"It's just nightmares." He told her, trying to get her to leave him alone. But she'd done that for four nights now, and she was tired of waiting while her husband suffered.

She slipped around to the front of him and gently brushed his mussed hair off his forehead. "James...." she sighed and gently ran a hand along the scars on his torso. Both of them had numerous scars from their time at HYDRA and Natasha knew that even though his pants currently covered them, there were a good deal in his legs as well.

Bucky finally took his forehead off the window and stared at her with sad eyes. She gently placed a hand on his cheek. "James, you have to tell me what's bothering you. If you don't tell me, I can't help you."

He sighed and gently rubbed his thumb over her cheek and across his lips. "I keep dreaming that I'm the Soldier again and I'm on a mission."

"And?" She prompted him.

"And then..." he was visibly upset now, tears forming in his eyes. "I find my hit and kill them."

"Who's the hit?" Natasha asked softly.

"You." He whispered, burying his face in her hair. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and pressed her face into his neck.

"You should've told me sooner." She managed to choke out, tears spilling out, barely able to comprehend what kind of torture he'd been put through.

"I couldn't." He whispered, holding her like she was the only thing keeping him from drifting away. "I didn't know how."

Natasha pulled back barely enough to look him in his eyes. "You can tell me anything. You don't have to worry about how. I'm your wife, James. I only want to help you."

"I know," he whispered. "But the thought of anything ever happening to you... Natasha I would die before I ever saw you unhappy."

She smiled through her tears. "And I you. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. And nothing will ever change that."

He kissed the end of her nose. "And I love you Natasha Alianovna Romanoff."

"No," she said, gently playing with his hair. "Not Romanoff. Barnes. Natasha Alianovna Barnes."

He smiled at her before he pulled her in for a long deep kiss. "All right. Barnes. I love you, Natasha Barnes."

Natasha wrapped her arms tightly around James as he picked her up and gently placed her back in bed. He pulled the covers up over both of them and wrapped his arms around her. "Sweet dreams, Natasha."

Natasha snuggled up to him, enjoying the warmth and security of his body. "Sweet dreams, James."