Stutter // Lars X Reader // (Slow Updates)

|Chapter 7| A Small Space Adventure

(Y/N)'s POV
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Even though the whole ship was practically shut down, watching the Off-colors and their captain, Lars of the Stars, work so diligently with the equipment was really...how do I explain it... memorizing? Sure. I guess that'll do. Watching all of them work together positively was something I haven't seen in a very, VERY, long time, trust me on that. Aquamarine and Topaz would always fight back on the ship.
Just thinking of their names made my head ache, as I tried to recall all the memories now locked away from the many hours I spent on that ship, just waiting for anything to happen to me.
Lars must have noticed my stress, as when I met his eyes, we looked a bit worried. I hadn't really seen that expression on him before other than when we first met, or I guess when I first woke up. At least I wasn't bleeding from the mouth this time.

"Is everything okay?" He asked in a softer than expected tone, loosening his grip on my hand slightly, being delicate with me as if I were similar to a porcelain doll.

"Yeah, I just...I don't really have good memories with ships. In fact, those are the only ones I remember," I explained, now realizing that I was holding my head while hunched over slightly, even though I was sure I wasn't feeling any physical pain. Or...maybe I was. Maybe I just couldn't really recognize pain anymore.

"Here, sit down real quick," Lars mumbled, sitting down against a wall against the controls room, gently pulling me down with him.  I deeply exhaled, sitting down next to him and staring at the ceiling. We sat in silence for a while, Lars just glancing at me, baffled, as I stared into oblivion.

"I..." I mumbled, interrupting the silence. "I don't remember a thing about what I was like before that ship." I deeply exhaled and tightened my grip on Lars' hand, a bit confused and terrified to once again enter these memories of torment and insanity. "But I do remember something happened to me. I was something beautiful, corrupted by the diamonds. I remember the torment, now. They forced me to shatter other gems. Lars, I don't even think I should be here. I honestly don't know what my purpose is here, why I'm still alive! I should've been shattered right there and then, on that beach...but you're here." I tightened my grip once more. "We're here."

The moment I looked back to him, he pulled me into some sort of embrace, tears staining the back of the ripped clothes I still hadn't gotten around to changing out of yet. I felt something inside me heat up, like a flame in a blizzard, melting all the built-up snow around it. I exhaled and relaxed my once tense muscles, untangling our hands and wrapping my arms around him.

"(Y/N)..." He whispered, pressing his head more into my shoulder. "Please never say that you shouldn't be here, okay? I know you've gone through a lot but we're here to help."

I can't help but press my head against his shoulder, and cry softly into his soft cloak as he assures me everything is fine. I feel all the built up anger and sadness flow out of me, one tear at a time, as I begin to remember the many other times I cried, but not on someone else's comfortable shoulder.

I felt like my brain was splitting in two, but that wasn't important right now. What was important was the memories I was receiving, showing me but younger being dragged from my home to Homeworld, to be tortured, used, and promptly shattered. Wonderful.
But do you want to hear something actually wonderful? My parents. A brief, quick memory of them, and it all made sense. Why I was still here. Another reason to stay alive, other than Lars, of course.
In my vision, I saw two figures holding a small (H/C) child.
The one on the right was a beautiful (F/G), with wavy/curly (F/C) hair, and a bit of a scruff on his chin. The other was a human, another man, with tan skin and beautiful white hair to compliment it. A pair of goggles were perched on his forehead, and he held a wrench in another hand. I knew instantly these were my biological parents...
But I only had that brief memory of them. I couldn't remember their names, or what they were like...just another mystery in the grand scheme of things.

I pulled back from Lars' embrace and sighed deeply, smiling a bit while cradling my head in one hand. "Thank you, Captain."
I didn't really feel like talking about what I just saw. I felt relieved, but at the same time, filled with emotional pain and regret. I just tried to act like everything was okay, like I had all my thoughts in place.

"Anytime, cadet. Now, I want you to dry those tears for me, and meet me back upstairs when you're ready, okay? This can be our little secret, if you'd like."

A little secret. That sounds nice.

"O-Okay," I said softly, wiping my tears. "I'll just follow you up. Do I look okay?"

"You look great. Don't sweat it," They added, guiding me up the stairs and back to where all the other off-colors were. "Say, do you want to try...maybe um... going on a solo-mission? I have this smaller ship pod thing that can-"

I held up a finger before quickly responding. "I'm already hooked. Where's this pod thing?"

He laughs a bit, causing both our faces to be dusted a bit of a darker shade of red. "I already like your style! But you might want to know more about it first.
Emerald has a small colony of gems here that harvest shattered gems and stuff like that. We're going to go in there and see why they're actually trying to do it, because it seems awfully pointless. Do you still want to go, or...?"

"Yeah," I said blankly, looking around the ship for some sort of pod. "Now, where is that pod..."

Lars smiled, walking over to the wall of the ship and leaning against it, raising his eyebrows. "Want to see something cool, (Y/N)?" He asked, rubbing his hand up and down the ship, as if he built it with his own hands. I chuckle escaped my lips, a bit faint but there, none the less.

"Sure, Captain," I laughed, placing my hands on my hips... suddenly feeling a bit more comfortable in my skin then before. I'm not sure why, but I was starting to feel more like myself, after seeing my parents, I guess. Maybe...

Lars knocks on the wall of the ship, hitting a steel button, opening some sort of secret compartment. A large door opens, revealing a pod from inside the ship's interior walls. "Bingo bongo, (F/G)," Lars stated, taking a step towards the pod before turning to me. "Guys, you alright if we take a solo mission while the ship is down? Trying to train the new recruit."

"I don't see the harm," One of the off-colors added, which I had come to know as Rhodonite. I was surprised, considering that she was often anxious and not one to take chances, and she was letting me go with Captain Lars. On our only functional pod that has very little fuel.

Oh, well. Might as well trust her judgement, right?

I walked into the pod, astonished on how big it seemed in terms of a pod. In reality, it was quite small, only big enough to seat Lars and me if we squeezed in tight, but the way it was designed seemed to create the illusion of space.

He walked in close after me, taking the pilot seat. Since there were no other seats, I decided to just stand behind him, and observe him man the controls. I wondered if perhaps one day I would man my own missions like that. I suppose time would tell.

As Lars got the pod into position, I looked back at the other gems, as well as Steven. They looked at us, concerned, before noticing my gaze and quickly turning away.

I began to wonder if this was such a good idea... But there was no time to stop the launch, since Lars blasted us into space just seconds after that thought dawned upon me.
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(A/N) Aaah! This is a little late, sorry, but at least I got it out this time! Let me know of any spelling errors, since I haven't really edited this throughly...
State testing is really getting to me lol. Hope you guys aren't suffering too! Anyways, peace!
-Orian