Save Me (DTRTI Sequel)

Chapter Five

"Babe, are you...are you okay?" Ava asked me as I entered the house.

I gave a soft nod and dropped my duffel bag at the door. "Yeah. I'm fine."

It was always the same lie.

Always 'I'm fine.'

Always a fake smile...always false security.

I never told her what was wrong.

And maybe that's why I lost her.

I never told her that he came back.

I never told her everything I should have told her.

"Are you sure?" She asked again.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine babe." I repeated my statement, backing it up with a soft kiss to her lips. She seemed to believe it. "Something smells good. Is that dinner?"

A subject change...classic for when you want people to stop asking questions...to stop prying.

Only...I didn't want her to stop prying.

I wanted her to ask again, to insist that I tell the truth...to save me.

"Uh...Yeah. I made some barbecue chicken and some greens and macaroni." She told me.

"Sounds good." I smiled. "Where's Lily?"

"She's eating." She informed me.

I followed her to the dining room. "Hey princess."

I walked over, pressing a kiss to her sticky cheek.

"Hi dada!" She grinned, waving a barbecue covered hand at me.

"Can dada have a kiss?" I asked.

She puckered her lips and kissed my cheek. "Muah!"

I smiled.

"Here's your plate." Ava spoke, setting my plate down and heading for the kitchen again.

"Thanks baby." I called after her.

When she returned to the room, she smiled but I could tell that it was fake.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head and smiled again, a more convincing smile...yet still fake. "Nothing."

But now I know that she was lying just like me.

While I was lying to her...she was lying to me too.

She was fighting her own battles.

And I was too concerned with myself to see that.

I was so self-absorbed.

"That wasn't too reassuring." I told her.

"That makes two of us." She spoke back, dropping her gaze to her plate. She picked up her fork and stabbed at her macaroni while I watched her.

I had fallen silent after her statement. It had to have been a good few minutes before I tore my gaze from her and lowered it to my plate, picking up my fork.

I wanted to ask her what she meant by that.

'That makes two of us.'

But part of me knew what that meant...and I didn't want to hear her say it.

She knew that I was lying to her...

She knew.

And hearing her say it...would've made the whole situation all too real. It would've made 'him' all too real.

The whole time I thought it was my secrets and lies that tore us apart.

The whole time I thought that I tore the family apart.

But you see...Ava was the glue. She held our family together...she held our marriage together....she held me together.

So when Ava started to keep secrets too....there was no glue left to hold our marriage together.

Everything began to slowly fall apart.

Each lie...each mistake...was wearing at the relationship, leaving its damage behind.

And Ava wasn't there to pick me up....To help me.

She was solving her own problems, dealing with her own hurt.

She couldn't be my Liliana if she was becoming another Chandler.

We ate dinner in silence....well save for Lily giggling and talking to us.

Ava avoided my gaze the whole night...even when the two of us got into bed that night.

She was thinking, I could tell.

She was probably thinking about us....about how distant I was getting.

About how I never told her what was wrong anymore.

"How do you feel about a second child?" She asked while looking down at the comforter.

"I uh...well I've always wanted a lot of kids. At least four. So if you're ready for a second child now, we can try for one." I agreed, looking at her.

She raised her gaze to mine and smiled. "Can we try tonight?"

I didn't respond verbally. Instead, I gave a soft nod and leaned in to kiss her.

Perhaps, now that I think about it...perhaps another baby was her hopes in keeping us together.

Maybe she had hoped that a second child would be our glue.

But if our daughter couldn't hold our marriage together, it wasn't likely that another baby would either.

Ava and I tried for months...and months....and months.

Maybe that was yet another problem. I couldn't give her what she wanted.

I couldn't even get her pregnant.

When she finally got pregnant, everything began to look up.

She was happy...glowing even.

And me? Well...I was just trying to stay out of my head....and I was hoping for a boy.

I wanted a Jr...a mini me just like Lily was a mini copy of Ava. I wanted a mini copy of me.

But I should've known that if my current wife and child couldn't keep me sane, a second child wouldn't keep me sane either.

As for Tasha, well let's continue with the story, shall we...

It was about four months after Ava got pregnant...she was glowing and I'd already helped Tasha get a place and job and all that so she and I were no longer meeting in secret. We were done...or so I thought....

"Do these pants make my butt look big?" Ava asked me, turning with her back to me to wait for a response.

"They make that ass look fat." I replied, pulling her close from behind.

She giggled and tilted her head to the side when I leaned down to kiss her neck. "You know you can't do that. This pregnancy has me all horny."

"Then let's get nasty." I whispered, licking her earlobe.

"First of all, that sounded creepy." She laughed.

"That's what I was going for." I returned, laughing also.

"And second, you've got a game in a few hours. You should already be out the door." She pulled from my embrace and I pulled her back in.

"I don't wanna leave you." I pouted.

"I'll be in the stands cheering you on." She told me. "As usual....Me and Lily."

If only I'd known they wouldn't be the only two. If only I'd known Tasha would be there.

If only I'd known Tasha was just trying to tear my happiness from me like always....

If only I'd known...