Save Me (DTRTI Sequel)

Chapter Nine

I should've fought harder for Ava that day. I should've fallen to my knees and begged her to stay, all pride aside.

But in the moment that she was leaving me, I couldn't do any of those. I could only stand silently...I could only be strong for my daughter. I just wanted to see Lily smile.

I just wanted to see my daughter happy...even if I wasn't.

In case you were wondering, I never found a blade. It was as if Ava had either hidden them all, or thrown them all out.

It was like she knew that's where I would go when she left me.

And she took that option too.

But without it, he refused to leave me alone. He nagged at me for hours and hours until I'd resorted to curling into a ball in the corner, crying my eyes out and holding balled up fists to my temple.

"Please, l-leave me alone." I sobbed, pleading with him.

'You know what I want.' He sneered. 'Do it!'

"I can't!" I yelled. "I can't!"

Tears streamed down my face and I shook my head. I wished Ava was here. If Ava was here, she'd know how to help me. She would know how to save me.

I stood to my feet when he kept taunting, his voice harsh as he poked and prodded.

'I bet the baby is yours.' He chuckled.

"How could it be?" I retorted pacing the room in circles with my eyes still shut and my fists still placed firmly by my ears. My steps were quick, as if I was racing an imaginary being around and around my living room. "How?"

'Remember that one time?' It was almost like I could see him grin.

I stopped pacing and opened my eyes, my hands shaking. "I didn't do anything with her." I protested. "I didn't!"

'Sure ya didn't.' He tacked on. 'But that's not the story she's telling.' He laughed hysterically and my eyes found a beautiful mirror.

It was golden around the curved edges, belonging to a set of three that Ava had hung in the living room. And standing there in the mirror, instead of my own reflection, was him.

I watched him as he grinned, showing all his teeth like the Cheshire Cat. His eyebrow rose and he laughed. A laugh that echoed throughout my head.

'Look at you!' He cackled, narrowing his eyes with the grin still presently stretching from ear to ear. 'PATHETIC!' He erupted into a fit of laughter. 'Pathetic!' He repeated.

My hands rested on my temples, tears still cascading down my cheeks as I stared at him. He taunted me, laughed at me, called me names, and told me to cut myself.

'I hope she goes and fucks another man.' He snarled. 'That would do it, wouldn't it? That would send you over the edge.' His smile seemed to have grown wider, his teeth sharp like daggers.

But he was right. That would do it. If Ava ever left me, like divorce type left, I'd die. And I knew two things: that that was what he wanted, and that he would make it happen.

He was going to push me...poke and prod, tease and mock, sadistically torture with his presence... until I'd had enough.

Until I'd do it.

Until I'd become Chandler.

And the worst part was....HE....was me.

I was staring into my own face, telling me to cut myself. Telling me that Ava was going to leave me. Telling me that I deserved everything I got.

Telling me to die....

And for a long, long time, I'd somehow live...despite his taunting and teasing, despite his voice in my ear at every moment of everyday.

For a long, long time...I'd make it.

But then, there would be the day where he would come....and I would snap.

It was inevitable when you think about it.

"Shut up!" I yelled at him as I shut my eyes tightly again.

'You can't close me out.' He mumbled. 'I'm not going anywhere...ever.'

I opened my eyes and lowered my balled up fists to my side before swinging at the mirror where he stood.

It shattered, shards raining down onto the wooden living room floor as he seemingly just hopped to the next available piece of reflective material. Being that the mirror was one of three, I broke the second as well...and then the third.

I had ignored the stinging pain in my hand, no doubt decorated with jammed fragments of the mirrors as I took slow steps back from the wall.

I think that was when I officially lost it. I pulled what remained of the mirrors off the wall and slammed them to the ground, stomping on them before turning to the glass coffee table.

There he was, yet again, taunting me in the surface of the table Ava had decorated with a vase of white lilies. I picked the vase up and slammed it down onto the table's surface, shattering the vase and the table simultaneously. Water hit the floor as soon as the vase shattered and the lilies were soon to follow.

I went through the room, breaking any and every reflecting surface I could see, from end tables, to picture frames, to pulling the television out of the wall and stomping on that too.

When I finished, I stood in a mess of rubble, my right hand leaking blood droplets onto the floor as I stood with my fist still clenched.

My phone dinged and I sighed, my chest heaving as I made a move to retrieve it.

'I'll be back in the morning for the rest of our things.' ~My Baby 😘❤️😍💍🙌🏽

My heart shattered in my chest, just like each piece of glass I had broken and I stared at her text for a long while, before falling into unconsciousness where I stood.

If you were wondering, I had passed out from the blood dripping from my hand for maybe an hour or two. It turns out, while I thought it was dripping, it was pouring. That spot where I had fallen held a puddle all in its own, and I had only stood there for about five minutes.

When I came to the next day, I was on the couch. The house was still a mess...and my hand was bandaged.

'Stop doing this to yourself.' ~Ava

That was the note that had been left on my bandaged hand, which felt as though I had broken it, was bruised all around each knuckle, and had swollen up like a balloon.

She had carefully wrapped it in an Ace bandage and from what I could tell, each piece of glass had been pulled out, replaced by a bandaid.

I sighed and sat up, immediately regretting it when my head throbbed like an anxious beating heart.

My eyes scanned the room around me and I stood to my feet, going to get the broom.

"Stop doing this to yourself." I repeated Ava's note to myself as I began to sweep up glass shards. "Doesn't she know...I'm not doing this?"

And I wasn't...or so I thought....