♥️🖤♥️Bonus Chapter♥️🖤♥️

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by lucivre

by lucivre

(!!!TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!)

I sat on the large rock that was placed in the perfect spot. I stared among the gleaming water as the moon's reflection sat atop of the small ripples. My mom was in a bad state at the moment, so I found it better if I just didn't stick with her. I let a small sigh escape my plump, pink chapped lips. I took out my Cherry Chap-stick, smearing it on my lips in hopes of making them soft again. It was a quiet night, all that was heard was the crickets chirping and the slow, steadied rhythm of my shaky breathing. I let a small tear slip down my pink, puffy cheeks as I muffled a sob. Why? Why did the world have to be this way? I got so close to getting HIM, but then...He was taken from me, he fell for HER. The girl he deserved, and i accepted that, but why did it hurt so fucking bad? "Because you love him," I spoke aloud. "Because you, the idiot called y/n, fell in love with the one they call Trashmouth. But why him? Well, because he's perfect. Because I can talk to him. Because he helped me see during my darkest nights, and he has always been there for me, but he just doesn't see how much he truly means to me..." I said aloud, once more, whispering the last part. "I Y/n L/n, swear now to love no one, to fall for no one, and to trust no one." I whispered. "Unless it is my beloved Trashmouth," I added.

Dear Trashmouth Tozier,

I know you love Paris, and I know I can do nothing to change that. I know I made the wrong decision when I yelled at her, but the truth is...It's because I love you. At first, I thought I was just overwhelmed and took it out on her, but I soon came to the realization that I can no long deny the fact that I am madly, and hopelessly in love with you, Richie Tozier. People don't know this, you don't know this. And let me tell you, it is literal HELL keeping this inside. It pains me so much to see you hold her hand, it KILLS me to see you kiss her lips, and sometimes, to keep myself stable, I imagine myself as her, getting to kiss those soft lips of yours, to hold your hands, and to trace you rough knuckles. I am a creep. I am an idiot. I am stupid. I am ugly. I am fat. But most of all, I am so deeply and painfully falling down this bottomless pit of severe anorexia and depression because I think that maybe, just maybe, if I am skinny enough, you will notice me. You will realize that I love you, but no.

You don't understand how much I wish I could tell you this, how much I want you to read this one of many letters to you, from the beginning, when you saved me from colliding with the concrete that one early spring day, because I couldn't pay attention to what I was doing, but you saved me. You made me laugh, you made me smile, you made me cringe, you made me confident, you made me feel loved. I know your happy with her...I know you love her, and will do anything and everything for her, but I want you to see how much it pains me to fall for someone such as yourself, who flirts with every cute girl that catches your eye, to fall for someone who doesn't see, even through those big ass glasses, see how much pain you have caused me, and how much you really did ruin me.

I am guiltily, deeply, hopelessly falling through this bottomless rabbit hole, every minute, hour, day, month, year, hoping to find my way to wonderland. In hopes that I will find my Mad Hatter, and that will be you.

Sincerely,

Peach.

I smiled sadly at the nickname he'd once given to me. Peach. Now, I had to leave. I collected my stuff and headed back home, where I hoped my mother would be sleeping soundly on the same old ridden couch, empty beer bottle in hand as the air reeked of smoke, alcohol, and the horrid stench of early sex. I don't know how much longer I could take this, I am going to stay strong, but eventually my great wall of china will tumble down, and I feared that almost as much as losing Richie.

I opened the big red door, resulting in a deep creak to echo throughout the dark home. I shuffled into the house tiredly making my way up the stairs, ignoring the common sound of pleasurable moans that left my slutty mothers lips as some random man took her for the millionth time. This was how she coped with her problems, Richie was how I coped with mine. Though he was the main cause of my problems, he seemed to heal me. With every stupid joke he told, with every cuddle, and with every small thing he gave to me. I slumped into my soft bed just as a pebble hit my window. A few moments later, Richie came through the window. He held something in his hand, guilt painted over his small face. "What's wrong, Rich?" I said, sleepily. "You dropped this, at our spot, and I saw that it said 'to Richie Tozier' so I opened it and read it...and-y/n I'm so sorry! I didn't k-know I was h-hurting you, you mean the w-world to me, I...I do love you, I...I just-not in that way," He said. At that moment in time, I could hear nothing, and I could feel nothing. I just sat there, letting the life drain from my body.

"The devastating death of the beloved y/n l/n, the events took place last night, Have you ever imagined dying of a broken heart?"

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Should I add more imagines like this? like, happy, sad, things like that? I' ll call them bonus chapters, maybe do a part two to this one. The real reason I did this was because 1, We hit 3.8k READS!!!, and 2, because we are ranking #3 IN RICHIE TOZIER! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!! I never imagined getting this far on Wattpad, I love to write, and the fact that there are people out there who enjoy reading what I write makes me so happy. Every time I post something where people can see it, I never imagine people seeing it as something enjoyable, or even think of it as anything. I always tell myself that by doing this, the only thing I will receive is humiliation, or judgement, but I didn't, So, thank you so much, You guys have no idea how much this means to me, and I really wish I could give you far more than just my words, and gratefulness.

Word Count: 1,171