The Problem with Patrick || Fall Out Boy

when you wake up the world will come around

Patrick couldn't sleep.

Everyone else in this bus was asleep. All he could hear from the bunks was snoring. Patrick, unable to fit comfortably in his bunk with the boot still adorning his foot, found himself on the couch down the far end of the bus. It was a mess down this end from when Andy, Joe, and Brendon had had a little party after the show, and Patrick was just surrounded by empty beer cans and empty chip packets. It was a little bit gross, but it was hard to clean when you were dependent on crutches, and as such he'd just pushed it all to a far corner and tried to make a bed out of the cleanest spot.

It wasn't very comfortable. The couch seemed to have some sort of plastic filling, judging by the loud crinkling that came from every slight movement. It was cold in this end of the bus, and the blanket was too thin to provide reasonable warmth. Not to mention it was too short as well, and Patrick's little toes peeped out the bottom every time he tried to pull the blanket up to cover his arms.

Not to mention he didn't have Pete sleeping next to him, like he'd become accustomed to.

It really wasn't an ideal setup. He drifted off a couple of times, but the loud couch or the cold air would bring him back to consciousness after a short nap. By the time the sun rose and everyone else was getting up for the day, Patrick calculated he'd probably had, in total, about 2 and a half hours sleep.

The plan for the day was to go out to breakfast, then back on the bus for a drive to the next city. Then they had a night off, and a hotel to sleep in as well. Hopefully that meant Patrick would get some proper sleep, because it was clearly affecting everything about him when he dragged himself to breakfast.

"Hey, buddy, you're not looking too good today." Pete told him on the walk to the nearby café. "Is everything okay?"

"Tired." Patrick mumbled half-heartedly, not paying much attention to his friend. He was just trying to focus on staying upright. For some reason he felt really dizzy today, and was relying heavily on his crutches to avoid falling.

"Okay, if you're sure." Pete nodded, returning to silence for a moment before piping up again. "You didn't have anything to drink last night, right?"

"N-No drinks. Doctor said no drinks." Patrick felt his eyelids drooping and had to stop for a moment to regain his balance. Pete immediately panicked and grabbed Patrick's arm.

"Hey, if this is a bit hard, we can just go back to the bus and have some cereal, hey?" He offered. "Patrick? Patrick, buddy, look at me. No, up at me."

Patrick was trying, but the world was spinning and looking up only made it worse.

"Hey! Guys! Wait a second! Patrick's not okay!" Pete called out to the rest of the band, who were charging ahead, before quickly rushing Patrick to a seat nearby.

"Is he ever alright?" Brendon scowled, adjusting his sunglasses. "Some of us need our coffee."

"Wait a damn second!" Pete snarled back angrily, before returning his attention to Patrick. "Hey, buddy, what's going on? Is it a blank or are you not feeling good, or what's up?

Patrick was staring down at his hands, trying to remember where he was, and where he was going. "P-Pete..."

"Uh huh, I'm here." Pete gently grabbed his hand. "What's up?"

He clenched his eyes shut, and opened them again. "I-I'm tired, a-and hungry... w-where are we?"

"We're on tour, remember? We were just going for a walk to get some breakfast. Do you wanna keep going, or do you wanna head back and just have some cereal?"

Brendon groaned and threw his hands in the air. "I'll meet the rest of you guys there. I'll order group coffee."

"Keep going." Patrick mumbled, grabbing his crutches and pulling himself up. He didn't exactly understand what Pete meant, but the coffee sounded good, and hopefully all he needed was some coffee and a good meal to feel more like himself again. Then maybe after he might be able to have a nap somewhere.

"You sure?" Pete placed a hand on his back and stayed close for the rest of the walk, ready to catch him if he fell.

They arrived at the café in one piece, and Patrick mostly stayed quiet during breakfast. He didn't feel confident adding to whatever the conversation was, he was a bit out of it, and knew that he very much ran the risk of saying the complete wrong thing and Brendon would probably laugh at him.

Despite his best efforts though, he was victim to that exact thing. Pete asked what he wanted to eat, and Patrick for the life of him couldn't remember the word for 'toast'. Brendon just found it hilarious when he asked for crunchy fire bread, and then because Brendon was laughing, Joe and Andy started laughing too, and Patrick just had to look down at his lap and pretend he didn't mind.

It was a funny thing to say, and if it was something he said purposely, then he probably would have laughed along as well. But because they were laughing at the fact that he had to make up a word because he couldn't remember the word for something he ate nearly every day made him feel incredibly self-conscious and embarrassed. Pete just gave Brendon and the other guys a dirty look and went to order.

The coffee was good, and with the caffeine going through his veins, Patrick began to wake up a little more and take notice of his surroundings. Pete came back with a number and studied his friend's face for a few moments. "How much sleep did you have last night?"

"U-Um..." Patrick thought it about it, drawing a blank again. "U-Um... not a l-lot?"

"Yeah, I can tell. The couch wasn't very comfortable?"

"N-No. A-and it was cold." Patrick pulled his sweater down over his hands to warm them up. Even thinking about his spot near the air vent made him shiver.

"We'll get another blanket before the next night." Pete assured him. "And hopefully we can squeeze in a nap this afternoon at the hotel. That sound good?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, cool. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?"

He couldn't help it, Patrick felt so incredibly needy at this point. Everyone else could just get on the damn bus and sleep in the bunks and didn't need crutches. They didn't need extra help because they kept forgetting things all the damn time. But this wasn't the time nor place to have the conversation, and he just kept his head down.

The crunchy fire bread helped a little too, and Patrick walked back to the bus without any problems. He did forget where he was about six times on the bus ride to the next city, but only Pete was keeping tally of that. Generally he was feeling okay, besides the blanks.

The label had booked them separate hotel rooms, but Patrick's went unused. He just put one arm around Pete, and the two laid down in the bed for a nap. Pete seemed worried about him as he mumbled about wanting more bears, but Patrick was too tired to care.

All he cared about was the bed, the bear under his arm, and Pete. He had all three in that moment, and that meant that he was happy.