"Betty, look. It's him," Martha whispered yelled while looking out of the window at her neighbor.
"Martha. This is stalking," Betty said.
"Sue me. He's hot," Martha said.
"I'm gonna stab you," Betty said.
"But it's not stabbing Wednesday. Our new tradition," Martha pointed out.
"But I just got a new knife," Betty exclaimed.
"You can stab me tomorrow. I promise, but remember, if I die, then I'm going to spend my entire afterlife reminding you that this is your fault," Martha said.
"That's fine. I wouldn't mind having ghost company," Betty replied.
"OOH HE'S TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT!" Martha squealed.
"Martha! You're basically eye raping the kid. You could be arrested for this because he's a minor," Betty pointed out.
"Just a few more months till he's 18 then mama has a new bedroom buddy!" Martha said excitedly.
"Weirdo," Betty mumbled.
"You too," Martha said.
"Me too," Betty said back.
"US TOO!" The two said in unison, then busted out laughing.
"After all these years, we still use that inside joke," Betty said wiping a tear off her face.
"Some things are timeless," Martha said.
"Isn't that Fred's grandson?" Betty asked.
"Who's Fred?" Martha asked.
"The old man you hooked up with a few weeks ago you sleezebag," Betty said.
"Ohh right. Ya, I think so," Martha said.
"This is illegal," Betty whispered harshly, crawling into the window after Martha.
"Then go home, Betty buzzkill," Martha said rolling her eyes. "Now where is he?" Martha wondered out loud.
"Be quiet. Everyone is probably asleep," Betty whispered. The pair had broken into Fred's house for Martha to take a picture with Fred's sleeping grandson.
"This way!" Martha called for Betty to follow her up the stairs.
"Geez. I'm getting too old for your shenanigans," Betty mumbled.
"When did you learn to pick a lock?" Martha asked.
"Long story. The less you know, the better," Betty replied.
"OOH THERE HE IS!" Martha exclaimed rather loudly.
"Shut up!" Betty said slapping a hand over Martha's mouth.
"Sorry. I got excited. Look at those yummy abs. I would love to-" Martha was cut off.
"Don't even finish that. I don't want to hear your sexual fantasies about this poor boy," Betty said sadly.
"I have to poop I'll be back," Martha said.
Betty just looks at her incredulously and says,
"This isn't gonna to end well."
-----------
"JUMP!" Betty yelled at Martha to jump over the fence while police sirens rang in the back. "I knew it was a bad idea for you to take a dump there but noooo. Nobody ever listens to 'Betty buzzkill'," Betty said harshly referring to the loud poop Martha just had that had woken up the owners of the house.
"You know I can't control it," Martha said sadly.
"Just hurry up. We need to hide before we're caught. I'm not going to jail with you again," Betty said.
"Let's go to Annie's house till tomorrow. She'll let us stay!" Martha exclaimed.
"As long as you keep your hands off her grandson," Betty said.
"I would never do such a thing!" Martha said, offended.
"Uhh huh," Betty said, humping onto her scooter with Martha in tow.
~Trisha
YOU ARE READING
Martha and Betty
Humor"PUT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ON, HO!" Martha yelled at Betty. "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, BITCH!" Betty screamed running off. "STOP! PUT YOUR HAND IN THE AIR!" The police screamed. "AND WAVE THEM LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!" Martha and Betty yelled in unison...
