Chapter 9

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Earth, 1993

You stand in the tiny kitchen, looking out into the street. You are to your elbows wet with soapy water as you wash the dishes. You think back to the last time you had left for Midgard. It feels lifetimes ago, but it has only been 10 years, nothing more, but a blink of an eye in your long lifespan, but you haven't stopped seeing and feeling time as a human.

Just a couple more months before you will return to Asgard for the next 5 years. This is the deal you had made with the royal family. 10 years on Midgard to fulfill your duty as guardian for 5 years on Asgard to fulfill your duty as a princess.

You are startled by a noise coming from the empty house. You are supposed to be alone, you have been for the last couple of days. You silently dry off your arms and creep closer to the door. You look into the doorway and see the familiar figure.

"Loki?" you ask and come out and face him, "I didn't expect you for another couple of days."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he says, but he seems off a bit.

"What? What's wrong?" you go closer. He is wearing a suit as he often does when among humans. You take his hands, "Tell me."

"Odin announced his official heir to the throne," he looks at you dead serious.

From his face and tone you already know, he doesn't have to finish.

"I'm sorry, this ain't fair to you," you cup his cheeks and look him in the eyes.

He takes off his overcoat and leaves you standing there for a moment before taking you in his arms.

"I'm sorry, my queen. I'm sorry I can't give you more," he whispers into your hair.

"I don't need more. I didn't marry you for the throne, I'm not by your side so I can rule. I love you. The real you, Loki."

"You didn't marry me for yourself at all. You married me because you were raised you to do so. You were told to," he sounds beaten, "It was an arranged marriage."

"May be so, but that doesn't mean anything anymore," you look up, "What it was doesn't matter, what matters is what I feel now."

You kiss him and hug him tight.

"Come, we'll talk about it. Let's go and sit down," you drag him into the living room and sit him down.

For the rest of the evening you talk about Odin and the royals. He talks about Thor and how he isn't fit to be king. For the first time he really talks about his childhood and the way he grew up. You have never before realized how little you knew about this time. You had heard his warrior stories, but nothing from that time.

"I'm sorry for what Odin did to you," you whisper as you rest your head in his lap and he plays with your hair, "Lies are the poison of life. I have felt it, I too was raised on lies, but my life turned out quite a bit better, I gained so much while you lost almost everything you were promised. I can't imagine what it's like and I'm sorry. I will do whatever what I can to help you, just tell me."

"Just be with me."

***

Loki half lays on the bed holding up the little girl above him. She laughs and reaches for him and he lowers her to give her a kiss before throwing her up again. They both laugh loudly and the golden sunshine fills the room.

You walk into the small bedroom, your son's arms clenched around your neck and his face pressed against your neck. You sit on the side of the bed and watch as Loki sits the little girl down on his bare chest. He reaches out and strokes his son's back who giggles and turns to face him.

"Why do they like you so much more than they like me?" you laugh and bow closer to kiss him. You sit the little boy on the bed helping him to stay up. You look at the twins.

"Is this enough?" you ask the man without looking.

"This is everything."

You are happy, happier than you have ever been before with your Asgardian children and the former prince in your little house in the countryside. All you dream of is here, in the palm of your hand. No lies, no hiding, just you and the man you love raising your children as who they are, not as who they are supposed to be. No princes, no princesses, just as children.

You open your eyes in the middle of the night. Loki has his arm around your waist and you look into the darkness of the bedroom, you can still feel the happiness you had felt in your dream. It felt so real and it left you feeling empty and uneasy. You place your hand on his that rests on your stomach.

You wonder how it would be. To have a family with the man you love and what the title would mean to your children. Could you raise your kids the way you wanted? Could you possible keep them safe from the lies and intrigues of the royals?

You sight, you know you can't have that, you can't let them be children. You could never let them grow up as happy as Midgardian children. They would be kept in the golden palace surrounded by wet nurses and guards. The dream of the little house in the countryside would be just that - a dream.

How fast you had gone from a happy dream to a sad thought, but you know it will come sooner or later. You stroke his hand and through his dream he intertwines his fingers with yours witch puts a smile back on your face.

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