A girl finds herself at home. Every day. Every night. Her father refuses to let her off the premises, for she is too fragile. Her body is so weak, so tired by the smallest of movements. She dislikes the walls of the home, so every time her father le...
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E/C eyes stare back at my own in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, which I have stood in front of for a good while now. At times, I could hear the rumble of thunder drumming up a storm outside, only making me feel more restless. It's been raining for two days straight, and all I've dreamed about was going outside to talk to Colin again about his beautiful garden. I sigh while pushing my hair back and turning my face side-to-side to get a good look at myself. I want to start taking better care of my looks, but I have no clue where to start.
Every inch of me is flawed, though, I suppose I should be starting small before working my way up to the bigger issues, but that's still a lot of things to consider. First, there's these unsightly, dark circles under my eyes, but it wasn't like sleep was an issue, since I often take naps. Perhaps I've been oversleeping? Then, there's my paled skin, but my time outside seemed to steadily be taking care of that, thankfully, but I'm still worried about dad noticing it. After taking the time to think it over, I decide to work on my hair first, so I pick up a brush and get to work. I grit my teeth as I comb through unruly knots and hiss as the strands are harshly rugged. At one, stubborn knot, I even bit my lip hard as the brush had yanked my hair roughly when the bristles ran through. I gasp sharply when I bite too hard and rupture the skin, causing my lip to bleed profusely. I suck on the wound while tearing a piece of toilet paper to press against it.
'God,I'museless. Ican'tevenbrushmydamnhairwithoutgettinghurt.' With teary eyes, I look up at my reflection again.
'I wonder what Colin looks like?' It's often the question I ponder. Judging by his voice alone, I don't think he would be an old man, but that doesn't really mean anything. I was never even given a clue of how he looks.
'Ishouldaskhimoneday.' Defeated, I decide to give up trying to look pretty for today. Maybe, I'll try again tomorrow? I leave the bathroom and go down to the living room, where I find father fast asleep on the couch. I imagine he's tired after working all day, so I grab the thin blanket we usually have draped over the back of the couch and use it to cover him before sitting at the far end.
I take the remote off the light brown, wooden coffee table before leaning back against the cream cushions and flicking through the channels of the television, which had been left on. I pause on a gardening program and lower the remote onto my lap. It's a segment on morning glories, and my, are they pretty. I find myself smiling subconsciously as I picture the woman telling her audience how to properly care for the colorful flowers as Colin— Well, his voice anyways. I watch for a long while before growing tired. I try to keep my eyes open, but I just can't help myself.
By imagining her voice as my next door neighbor, I was quickly lulled to sleep.
I hum with a light smile stretched across my face as I watch the rain pad softly against the dark green grass in my garden through the paned window above the kitchen sink. The water is sure to make the plants happy. I have a sip of the chamomile tea in my hands while listening to my birds twittering in the other room. It sure is a peaceful evening. I suddenly recall Y/N's love towards the winged creatures. I found it almost cute.
Everyone has a favorite something. How amazing is it that we are so similar? She's interested in flowers, is kind and polite, plus she likes birds. What's not to like? There has never been a lull in the conversations we've shared.
I'm a bit curious of her looks, though. I bet she's just beautiful, while I... I'm just me. Steadily, my smile falls into a frown. I've been told I am ugly by most. I didn't use to believe that, but I suppose those hurtful words ended up getting etched into my brain. I drag my fingers down a lock of my long, green hair that I was frequently called a freak for having.
This is it's natural color, though, no one knew why it was such an odd one. Darks and lights all mixed together, combining to make a perfect shade of emerald green. I twirl the strand between my fingers and stare at it sadly. My hair tends to grow fast, so I grew tired of cutting it so often, therefore I chose to let it be. It's long enough to reach midway down my back now. It never bothered me, since I usually have it tied back. Now, though, I wonder if Y/N might think it's ugly too.
With my horrid luck, I doubt I'll ever get the chance to meet her properly, but I still wish to see her face-to-face one day. I could feel a pit form in my stomach out of worry as I set down my empty mug and go to the bathroom. There, I grab a pair of haircutting scissors before taking a piece of my hair while staring at my image in the mirror. Blue eyes meet mine, and I don't know why, but I hesitated. Personally, I don't mind how I look with it, but... I squeeze my eyes shut and cut it quickly before I could change my mind. Unable to help it, I think of all the nasty things I have been called during my life as clumps of hair drop to the floor.
'Ugly.'
Snip.
'Freak.'
Snip.
'Repulsive.'
Snip.
I was nearly done, however, the haircut wasn't perfectly framing my face like I had hoped it would. If anything, it made me look worse. I drop the scissors after cutting the last piece and cover my crying eyes. I can't do anything right! My garden... My garden has been the only thing. I bend over the sink while still holding my face in my calloused hands.
For a moment, my eyes glanced upward to the mirror, and I was immediately repulsed by what had looked back at me. I didn't want to look at myself anymore! Without thinking, I start punching the mirror, disregarding the pain in my fists. I cry harder and harder as I continue to throw fist after fist until I eventually tired myself out. I slide down to the floor and lean my back against the baby blue wall as tears continue to flow. The throbbing of my hands finally came to my attention, but it wasn't enough to tear me away from my thoughts.
