Once Upon A Wonderland~ Killian Jones

Pain and Panic Crossdress

"So, I'm meeting her at the Rabbit Hole at 6:30 tonight," I finished with a sigh. 

"And you believe you can fix her?" Killian leaned forward on his elbows.

I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, rubbing my hands together. "I have to try."

Killian studied me with his electric gaze, his face sorrowful. "I really am sorry, love."

I averted my eyes, trying to ignore the pang of hatred I felt when he spoke those words. 

The corner of Killian's mouth flickered momentarily, his expression pained. He looked at his hand and hook before him on the table and drew in a breath slowly. "Look, I understand if you haven't forgiven me-"

"It's fine," I said curtly, then exhaled my stiffness way. I let out a nervous laugh. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this." Hades' face flashed in my mind, his grin a cruel reminder that it was only a matter of time before he would find out.

"No, no. I'm here for you, love, " Killian glanced at his hook for a moment before meeting my eyes, hope etched onto his face. "Perhaps I could even... come with you. For support, I mean."

I sucked in a breath. "I..." There was a part of me that wanted Killian there. But the rational part of me reasoned that Belle might recognize Killian and get angry, or Hades would find out. "Sure," I blurted out. "Yeah, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you, Killian."

Oh, what the hell. Life is short.

Killian exhaled and smiled. "Great. I'll meet you here at 6?"

I smiled back. "Yeah, yeah. I'll drive."

~~~~~

"You're taking Killian with you?!"Mary Margaret gaped at me in disbelief over her coffee. We were enjoying lunch at Granny's Diner. It was the best- not to mention only- place in town that served good food. 

I cringed. "I know, I know. I just..." I sighed. "I'm friends with him. And I feel like... like things will go better if he's there. Does that make any sense?"

Snow sighed. "Yes, unfortunately it does. I felt the same way with David. But Belle..."

"There's something seriously wrong with Belle. If she didn't recognize me, she won't recognize Killian," I took a deep breath. "Besides, I could use the support. I don't know if I'm strong enough to face Belle by myself."

Snow looked at me with pity in her gaze. "I'm sorry, Grace. I know this is hard for you."

I laughed bitterly. "Yeah, yeah. It's more frustrating than sad, I guess," I looked up at Snow. "But I'm lucky to have friends like you that help me through times like this. I don't think I could do any of this without you, or Killian."

A curious glint entered Snow's eye. She shifted in her seat, her eyes glancing to her coffee and then back to me. "Speaking of... what's going on between you and Killian? I mean, you haven't known him for very long, and I feel like you trust him just as much as you trust me."

My cheeks reddened with embarrassment. "Nothing is going on, Snow. Trust me."

Snow laughed. "Are you sure about that?"

An image of Hades flashed in my mind and my embarrassment quickly faded. I frowned. "Yes. I'm sure."

"I mean, it seems like you two have really got something there. I don't think it would be that bad of an idea-"

"No," I cut her off. "No, nothing is ever going to happen."

How could it, when there was so much more at stake than just feelings?