The Deal

The Falling Leaf

Harry

I am a by-product of my mother's animosity and my father's infidelity.

A creation borne out of hatred and betrayal. One last hate fuck and my mother was stuck with a child that looked much too much like his dad. And acted much too much like him, too. Maybe that's why she always held a general contempt for my very existence.

That, or the fact that she had to raise me by herself made her resent me with every fiber of her being.

I grew up with my father pretending I didn't exist and my mother wishing I didn't. Hearing constant arguments regarding alimony and child support, hearing her badmouth him and the woman he ended up marrying, and hearing him call my mother every offensive name under the sun.

There was no love in my household.

There was no love in the way I was conceived.

The seed they planted was toxic from the beginning and the plant that grew from tainted soil ended up being rotten too.

It was this blackened idea of relationships that had me leaving women's beds in the mornings without a goodbye, that had me forgetting anniversaries and birthdays, and that had me breaking up with every girlfriend I've ever had by ghosting them or sending a short and emotionless text.

Nova was supposed to be different.

It was supposed to be detached and easy, but somewhere along the way everything got tangled and messed up. We started hanging out and conversing and we should've stopped, but we didn't. We got too close, too invested in what we were doing and I hurt her. Of course, I fucking hurt her.

My blackened heart tainted her. It was what I was born to do.

Halloween night, after three Irish Car Bombs and a handle of tequila I was seeing double. Liam kept talking about Zoe and how wild she is in bed and I was so fucking nauseous and angry that I could barely control the shit that was coming out of my mouth.

I didn't like him talking about her or about them together. It filled me with an anger that I haven't felt since my mother kicked me out of the house so her new boyfriend could move in.

When I'm drunk and angry, nothing can control me. Nothing rational comes out of my mouth.

I spew hate. Just like my parents.

So, when they brought up Nova, I didn't even think... All I could hear was Liam's voice ringing in my head; talking about the mole on Zoe's thigh, the fact that she liked it from behind, that she liked being spanked, the way she sounded...

The words just spilled out of my mouth like vomit and I instantly wished I could swallow them back up and bury them deep, deep down.

Yeah, that girl is fuckin' nuts, that's for sure... But, trust me, it's that wildness that makes her so fucking great in bed.

I don't even know why I said it, as if I needed to prove something to Liam. Something to myself. Nova didn't deserve to be a pawn in my own jealous agenda. I knew right away how fucked that was to call her crazy after all the scrutiny she gets from the rest of the town. Not to mention, I also blew our whole covert lovers thing.

What I didn't expect and what made my heart fall to my stomach like a brick was turning around to find Nova standing at the top of the stairs, her heartbreak written all over her face.

Chin quivering, eyes watering and pained, face flushed from embarrassment...

The most kind and selfless person I've ever met, wearing that expression because of me? I swear Satan cleared out a room in Hell especially for me at that moment.