The Shattered// E.D G.D

New year 🥳

<Dear society- Madison Beer>

It's you who's gonna be the death of me
And none of this matters
Baby, it's you, it's you
You're bad for my health
I should probably get some help
I can't control myself, I'm addicted to the hell

—

1 month earlier

•••

Bored. Boredom. I'm so bored it's not even funny. I want to go home and watch the ball drop by myself, maybe find a hidden pet that my brother most likely stuffed somewhere in the house, and kiss it for the sake of tradition.

Once again, I find myself stuck between storming out the house to be dramatic and whining to my mother who's in a frisky mood since she drank a bottle of champagne.

I had nothing to do as I sat on the couch, my lips curling then pursing, my hands flattening out the sides of my jeans.

You're so underdressed for this. Everyone around me wore dresses and suits—everyone but me. I got the memo this was a dress up kinda of event, but by the time my mother forces us home at two A.M, I'll be glad I didn't wear a dress. And yes, my mother was super pissed I didn't fall to the power of dress codes, but then again that didn't matter, Lisa and Sean love me so they wouldn't bring up a problem to me so I didn't see the matter in why I couldn't wear jeans.

There was five minutes until the ball on TV dropped, everyone in the living room buzzed around with alcohol and laughter, smiling with hats on or holding hands with their lover.

Couldn't feel more single or lonely, what fun!

My feet tapped on the floor to the light pop music playing, my eyes nervously switching between different people in the room. Another year and I didn't have anyone to kiss for New Years, but I wasn't that sad. I knew when I went home, I would pop a pill and dream of Ethan, and I would make sure I got my kiss.

Could you be anymore creepier?

I could, but I won't. It's not like I had sex with dream Ethan, and I'm not planning on it anytime soon.

Almost as if I spoke my words aloud, the boy of the hour strolled into the room with Cynthia by his side, fingers interlocked and a smirk on his lips. Just that tiny smile had me smiling, wanting to swoon at the sight. My grin soon dropped once my eyes flickered to Cynthia, who was laughing at something Ethan said.

Could this night get any worse?

I leaned farther into the couch, pulling my phone from my pocket and noticing it was two minutes until it became next year.

Who should you kiss tonight?

Very ballsy to assume that I want to kiss anyone here that isn't Ethan. I want one person, and that one person is kissing someone else. My eyes narrowed in on the couple, then scanned the room. Lots of people in their thirties and forties walked around, some kids and three teenagers that were mostly pulled along to come here.

I could kiss that guy over there, I thought as I watched a guy in the corner of the room type in his phone, his face hidden behind his wild Afro.

You're not going to kiss anyone! You're too scared!

That's true. But the pink drink I thought was lemonade earlier was coming back to punch me in the gut. And, every time I drank, someone cool came out.