Unrequited (The Outsiders ship fic)

Ch 12. Patience is key

Ponyboy POV

Johnny took my advice, telling Dallas that he doesn't love him. It's what's best for him, really. But I think he only did it because he's in love with me. He knows I love Cherry Valence, even if she doesn't feel the same way and it's stupid. I tried to have sex with him because I was hurt. I know it's an awful thing to do, but he's the only one that I thought would do it for me no matter what. I needed that feeling that Two-bit and Dallas are always talking about. It was close, I assume, probably, right? I can trust Johnny more than anybody, except maybe Sodapop. Now I know he's in love with me and I'm leading him on. What kind of a shitty friend does that?
Anyway, I know I've got the beating of a lifetime coming. Maybe a couple if Dally tells Darry about it. I hit Dallas so he wouldn't hurt Johnny anymore. That kid doesn't deserve that kind of treatment, I would know, I'm his best friend. So I hit Dally, and I don't regret it, even if I do have a beating coming.
It's been a couple hours since then now. Sodapop and Steve came home to an awkward scene. Silence. Me on one couch, pretending to read, and Dallas and Johnny on the other. Johnny was sitting almost a whole foot away from him though, and Dally didn't make any advance to get him closer. Not even the TV was on.
Soda tried to lighten the weird vibe, and Steve just asked questions. What's with all the quiet? Why you two sitting so far apart? Why's Dallas keep looking at his hotdog like that? Stupid Steve, never aware of the don't bring it up look when people give it to him.
Johnny had to be the one to tell the story. I wasn't willing to spill and Dally doesn't know the half of it. Not like Johnny's gonna tell them about our afternoon together anyway. He kept saying the boy I love instead of Ponyboy, but he said my boyfriend instead of Dally. I think he said it like that just to put the situation into perspective.
The boy I love came home with me today and my boyfriend was on the couch.
I finally told my boyfriend the truth: I don't love him, not like Ponyboy.
They fought a little-not like, over me or something, they just want what's best for me. Well, at least he does, I don't know anything about how my boyfriend feels.
I don't know what I want.
He said that couple times.
I've been selfish. I should settle. I can't have what I want and I'm not entirely unhappy, so why not just settle?
He's not looking anybody in the eyes, just staring at some spot on the floor with glossy eyes and his chest rising and falling a little too fast.
It's too late. I've ruined everything already.
I think, or at least I hope, Dally knows exactly what he means. He doesn't look angry, but he's biting his lip and clutching his arms close to himself. He looks more uncomfortable than anything, really.

Dally POV

I know better than to cry in front of all those guys. Everybody does, so usually nobody does. I'd be the last guy to crack in front of them. I squeezed my arms tight in a grip. I kept looking to the door, thinking that I have to get out of here. I'm not wanted here anyway, with Ponyboy kneeing me in the balls and Johnny lecturing everyone on how much he doesn't love me.
"What do you mean it's too late?" I heard Sodapop ask in a calm, sweet voice.
"I already lost Dallas, I can't even date him anymore. It's too late to decide now that I was okay there."
Is he really sad that he doesn't have me anymore? Wait, why is he saying that anyway?
"Who says I'm lost?" I asked with a smirk on my face.
If he can settle for me, I'm okay with that. I settle with me every day when I wake up in the morning and decide to get out of bed. He can do that too. I love him, and I don't mind so long as he stays with me.
Everyone glanced at me weirdly, and I realized I haven't said a word in a really long time. I guess they all just figured I stopped paying attention a long time ago. Johnny's face is blank, his eyes are big though. Ponyboy has a look of disconnected disgust, Steve looks just plain confused, and Soda looks almost worried. What's the big deal anyway?

Johnny POV

Time skip to like, a day or 2 later

Now me and Dally are together again. I love Ponyboy, but he's straight and has a long way to go before he's over Cherry the soc. I guess I don't mind settling anyways. At least with Dallas I'll know someone will care about me. I'm too old for this drama as it is.
I hold hands with Dal as we walk to the movies with Two. He has no idea about anything that happened, or he wouldn't unless he's smarter than we thought. I doubt he is, to be honest, since I think if you're smart you should show it whenever you can. Like Ponyboy does.
I think Dal is doing all that he can to just ignore what I said a couple days ago. He seems about as normal as ever, but he hasn't said I love you since then. Maybe he thinks if he does I'll just sass him or something. We're back to just kissing, holding hands, dates, and more kissing. I guess this is as good as its ever going to get, and, seeing as I literally asked for this, I'm fine with it.
Ponyboy doesn't seem to mind knowing I like him, which is weird to me. He's 14, shouldn't he be really dramatic about crushes and things? Like middle school. But he's still nice to me, he still talks to me, he still leans his head on my shoulder when he's tired and he still lets me do the same. It's like nothing happened. Like he's just ignoring it. Yet still it hurts like hell. I think it would hurt more than it would if he was being weird about it. Ponyboy just cares that I'm back with Dal. He keeps telling me to wake, stop being stupid, take some charge in my life. Man, I liked it a lot better when his advice for leaving Dally was just "here, kiss me". I know if he wanted to kiss me now I'd do it without hesitation, and I think they all know that. Dal knows I'd cheat on him if given the chance and he doesn't care. That's the price you pay when you settle.
Maybe in a while things will just go back to normal. Me and Dallas will just drift apart, stop kissing and going out, until we just aren't dating anymore. Then he will go to parties at Buck's again and fuck girls and I won't care any more than anybody else there. Maybe Ponyboy will finally get a girl and I can be happy for him. I'm patient, I can wait til then.