My Mouth is Yours(Phan Clean/Smut)

Never Good Enough

Word Count: 675

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of depression, DPD

Summary: Dan was diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder and was checked into Willow Widows Psychiatric Center by his family. Dan is insecure, and Nurse Lester is quick to rush to his patient's side.

Dan was sprawled out vertically on his very dainty twin-sized hospital bed. The medication he took every day not only made his body numb, but it put his mind in a constant state of emptiness. He was usually desperate to be surrounded by people who would reassure him that everything was okay. However, today, tears had been threatening to spill over the rim of his eyes for hours, and he hadn't wanted anyone. Pj, the only real friend he made since his parents had checked him into Willow Widows Psychiatric Center, was quick to notice Dan's sadness. He had tried to speak to Dan and cheer him up, but he had failed miserably. Dan was fully aware that Pj had reported him to nurse Lester and that he would be knocking on his room door within seconds. 

Nurse Lester was always sweet and cheerful. He knew how to communicate with his patients, and he generally worked all day and night until he passed out in the employees' lounge. After being acquainted with the young man, Dan had requested him to become his regular nurse. His doctor, Dr. Vah, had denied him at first since the nurse was already working full time and had around thirty patients to tend to every day. But he quickly gave in once Dan had thrown a couple of fits here and there and refused to participate during group therapy. Once Nurse Lester started to care for Dan, he soon learned that the man's first name was Phil and they became friends. Sometimes, they were even more than friends, which was entirely against the rules.

"Dan?" Dan heard Nurse Lester call through the door before he softly knocked on the door.

"Come in," Dan answered as he rolled over on his side that faced the door. His breath was taken away once Nurse Lester stepped inside of his room dressed in baby blue scrubs. Everything in Dan's room was a dull and boring shade of white. Staring at such a bland room nearly drove him mad most of the time, and he was so thankful for the colorful clothing Phil always wore. 

"What's this I hear about you being in a mood today?" Phil asked after he had fully entered the room and was now leaning up against the door with his arms crossed.

"Dr. Vah prescribed a higher dosage," Dan answered as a single tear finally escaped from his eye and slid down his cheek.

Phil sighed and walked over to Dan's bed and set on the end of it. "I'm here for you."

After a while of silence, Dan stuttered out some questions that had been lingering in the back of his mind for weeks now. "Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be good enough?"

Phil didn't respond; he knew it was unnecessary. He simply pulled the fragile boy into his arms and held him close. Dan gripped onto Phil's scrub top and buried his face into his chest. Phil leaned down to place the daintiest of kisses onto Dan's forehead before resting his head on top of his. 

Dan and Phil had been in this situation multiple times, and even though Phil knew if they were to be caught, he was in risk of losing his job. But he was the only nurse who has been able to get through to Dan. Dan's last nurse only brought Dan his medicine and food and rarely ever spoke to him. Dan needed to be held and cared for, and that's why the last nurse had never made any progress with him. Phil has and never will give up on the brown-haired, doe-eyed boy who looked up to Phil for guidance. 

When Phil began to hum; it wasn't before long that Dan's breathing evened out. Phil knew his consciousness was ebbing and that his mind was drifting into a free fall of dreams.  When Phil knew for sure that Dan had fallen into a deep slumber, he whispered into the boy's ear, "You've always been good enough to me."

~~~~~~

Hey guys! I think this was a really cute and short fic and I kind of liked it. Every other update, I will be doing only 500-1000(occasionally 2k if I feel like it) word drabbles! This is to limit myself and that I can be sure that I actually finish some of my works lmao. I know this one doesn't have that great of an ending, but this is my very first one so bare with me! However, I hope you like it! Don't be afraid to send in any type of requests; rather it be a drabble for a regular story! Thank you for reading! I love you guys! *tears up*

Bai!

~Jess <3