Fear of a Name

Chapter Sixty: Above All Else

I looked at the Boggart, ready to turn my mother's hair and clothes into varying shades of pink. What I saw, however, stopped me in my tracks. There were seven people there: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Lupin, Sirius, and... me. I frowned.
How is this my worst—
My thought stopped suddenly as the Boggart me raised my wand and pointed it at the others. Green light flashed from the wand tip, consuming them all- they were all lying on the floor, eyes staring without seeing, looks of fear on all of their faces.

"No!"
I collapsed to the floor as the Boggart version of me laughed psychopathically at what had just happened, the dark mark proudly displayed on my left arm.
"No... no... please no..."
It didn't feel like it was just a Boggart. It felt real. Completely real.
"No..."
I was crying now, huge sobs that made my body shake.

That's when Lupin came into the trunk.

"Ivory, are you—" He stopped as he saw the Boggart, saw a copy of himself staring without seeing, the others in the same condition, and the Boggart version of me laughing. He stepped in front of the Boggart and turned it into a balloon, then came over to me.
"Come on," he said gently, helping me stand up and get out of the trunk, where Harry, Ron, and Hermione were anxiously waiting.
"Ivory!"

It took at least ten minutes for them to calm me down, probably even more. When I'd finally stopped crying, we started to make our way up to the castle, only for me to be stopped by Lupin.
"Ivory, could you come and see me in my office after your last exam?" he said. "I'd like to talk to you about something."
I nodded, then went back to Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

We started walking again. Ron was still slightly inclined to laugh at Hermione's Boggart, but an argument was averted by the sight that met us on the top of the steps. Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic, was standing there in a pinstriped cloak, staring out at the grounds. I quickly hid behind Ron and Hermione.
"What're you doing?" Hermione muttered to me.
"I'm the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange and the Dark Lord, I don't think he'd be very happy to see me," I muttered back.

"Hello there, Harry!" I heard the Minister say. "Just had an exam, I expect? Nearly finished?"
"Yes," Harry said.
Hermione and Ron hovered awkwardly in the background, keeping me hidden.
"Lovely day," said Fudge. "Pity... pity..."
He sighed deeply.
"I'm here on an unpleasant mission, Harry. The Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures required a witness to the execution of a mad Hippogriff. As I needed to visit Hogwarts to check on the Black situation, I was asked to step in."

"Does that mean the appeal's already happened?" said Ron, stepping forwards.
I quickly moved so I was completely behind Hermione.
"No, no, it's scheduled for this afternoon," said Fudge, looking curiously at Ron.
"Then you might not have to witness an execution at all!" said Ron stoutly. "The Hippogriff might get off!"

Before Fudge could answer, two wizards came through the castle doors behind him. One was so ancient he appeared to be withering before our very eyes; the other was tall and strapping, with a thin black moustache. I only just managed to stop myself letting out a whimper of fear when I realised who this second person was: Macnair. He was a Death Eater.

"Dear, dear, I'm getting too old for this," the older wizard said in a feeble voice, squinting towards Hagrid's cabin. "Two o'clock, isn't it, Fudge?"
Macnair was fingering something in his belt; I looked and saw that he was running one broad thumb along the blade of a shining axe. Ron opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione nudged him hard in the ribs and jerked her head towards the entrance hall.

"Why'd you stop me?" said Ron angrily as we entered the great hall for lunch. "Did you see them? They've even got the axe ready! This isn't justice!"
"Ron, your dad works for the Ministry. You can't go saying things like that to his boss!" said Hermione, but she, too, looked very upset.
"Also, the executioner's a Death Eater," I muttered, but they didn't seem to hear me.
"As long as Hagrid keeps his head this time, and argues his case properly, they can't possibly execute Buckbeak..." Hermione said, but I could tell she didn't really believe what she was saying.

All around us, people were talking excitedly as they ate their lunch, happily anticipating the end of exams that afternoon, but Harry, Ron, Hermione, and me, lost in worry about Buckbeak, didn't join in. I was also thinking about my Boggart, trying to understand what it meant my worst fear was. Was it getting the dark mark? The deaths of the only people who'd accepted me from the very start? Me killing them, or just killing people in general? All three of these things? But then there was the laughter. I'd heard that laughter before, heard it so often I don't think I could ever forget it. That's when I figured it out.

The thing I feared above all else wasn't my mother, it was me becoming like her.