casual affairs ||| ryden oneshots

i missed your skin when you were east

desc: ryan can't believe his eyes, and yet this isn't a dream. there, within 20 feet of him, was his former love, brendon urie.

(set post - pretty. odd., a couple of years after ryan left)

rating: pg-13 (although there will be a second part that's basically going to be pwp)

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"Tell me again why I agreed to do this with you?" Ryan questioned to his bandmate, Jon, biting his thumbnail nervously as they sped down Santa Monica boulevard, his nerves radiating throughout his entire body. He wasn't ready for this. He couldn't be ready for this. Nothing on this planet would ever make him ready for this. What would people say once they saw him walk in? What would the tabloids say? God, what would Brendon say? "I don't even want to see him, Jon. I don't want to see Brendon."

The name felt bittersweet on his tongue. The wind was smacking him in the face and making his hair flow every which way, but he didn't care. The thought of being in Brendon's presence was enough to distract him from anything else. He hadn't seen him in so long and hasn't talked to him even longer. Too much happened between them in the years they associated with each other.

Brendon Urie was, and would always be, Ryan Ross' home. He was in love with him. Hopelessly devoted to someone so gorgeous and intricate and bubbly - Brendon was like a fairytale come true, (the man of Ryan's dreams, if you will) and sometimes Ryan wonders how he ever stood a chance with someone as angelic as him. It was just so unfair, really, how amazing he was. And it's like, god, can Ryan even do this right now? He really doesn't want to at this point.

"Dude, shut up," Jon rolled his eyes and glanced over at Ryan for a moment, sighing, "you wanted to see Brendon. That's the whole reason we bought tickets to his concert, remember, jackass? Don't change your mind at the last minute. You know he deserves an explanation," He's silent for a moment, almost like he's contemplating on saying something. He then just finished his sentence off with a, "we're almost there anyway."

"We have to be up and on the plane in.." Ryan sighed, checking the alarm set on his phone, "11 hours, Jon, seriously, let's just turn back. We don't have to go."

Jon rolled his eyes and turned the music that was playing down, a bored expression on his face. The Young Veins had been doing fairly well since they came out with their first album, and right now, they were on tour. For Jon to even do this right now was generous, especially because of the time crunch they were on. Ryan had been pestering Jon to do this for him for god knows how long, and now they're finally going through with it, but of course, Ryan wants to be a bitch.

"Christ," Jon sighed, trying to wrack his brain for a response, "you're like a teenage girl. Grow some balls. You wanted to see him so bad, and now you're going to have to, because I'm not turning this car around."

Ryan whined, tapping his foot against the floor anxiously. The amount of thoughts flying through his head scared him. He was so preoccupied with thinking about what could happen that he didn't even notice Jon pulling into the venue and parking the car. His heart dropped. "Dude, seriously, I'm gonna yak -"

"Shut the fuck up and just get out of the car," Job interrupted him, rolling his eyes, "it's not going to kill you to see him. Honestly, Ryan."

Ryan understood he was being a drama queen. He got that. But really, is there any good way to react to seeing someone so significant to your life that you haven't seen in years? Not to mention shared a not-so secret relationship with? All these years, Ryan's wanted to give an explanation, and Brendon was probably expecting one ages ago. All these years, Ryan's been ready to tell Brendon why he left, and now that he's finally getting to it, it's like he can't even breathe.