casual affairs ||| ryden oneshots

girlfriends & rubber souls

desc: ryan ross hates his fucking job. he hates his coworkers and he hates the assholes that walk in and buy stuff. he hates going in everyday and standing in that dumbass station of his, and he hates the fact that he can't find anything better to do.

but then again, hate is a strong word, and brendon urie might just make him hate his job a little less.

record store au!

rating: pg-13

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Ryan Ross hates his fucking job. He hates his coworkers and he hates the assholes that walk in and buy stuff. He hates going in everyday and standing in that dumbass station of his, and he hates the fact that he can't find anything better to do.

It's miserable, really. The 'ding' of the door every time some jerk-off would walk in made him so mad, with good reason. Ryan has to hear that shit all day, everyday. It's not even like anyone interesting decides to buy from the record store. Usually old people that smell like fat and cheese walk in, look around, and then walk out. It annoys Ryan to no end. Don't even get him started on when people take it upon themselves to start playing the fucking records. It's not that hard to just look up the music on your phone and put some earbuds in and be done with it. (Although the store does have a sign that instructs buyers to take it upon themselves to test out the record players and whatnot, which Ryan finds completely retarded, but whatever.)

And on top of that, his coworkers are seriously the slowest people on the planet. Keltie, who's been working there for maybe three or four months, flirts with Ryan shamelessly, doesn't shut the fuck up literally ever, is so bad at doing her job he doesn't even know how she isn't fired yet, and oh, did he mention that she does not ever shut the fuck up?

Then there's Jac. She's alright, but also still really annoying. Her and Keltie are best friends and Ryan's pretty sure that they both have a thing for him, because whenever he's doing his job like he's supposed to, they're always shooting him these longing, flirtatious glares, that makes Ryan want to vomit into both of their Prada bags and then on their faces. They're so obvious and Ryan wants to tell them to fuck off so bad it hurts. But he can't, because he's supposed to be professional, and he really needs this job.

Jon is the only cool person that works alongside him. Jon knows what's up. He'll talk to Ryan about music and comic books and movies and shit that they have in common, and he knows when to leave Ryan alone. He also totally makes working there a little bit better, even though Ryan still hates his job.

So, Ryan's standing there in his station, already so pissed off, and it hasn't even been two hours. He checks the time on his phone and sighs grudgingly, because it's only 12:34 in the afternoon and he's really not in the mood to be doing his shift until 5. The one thing keeping him going is the paycheck he's receiving at the end of the week, otherwise he'd quite literally be slamming his head into the wall until he went unconscious. Maybe that would get him fired, or at least taken off of his shift for a day or two.

Ryan's really considering slamming his head into the wall.

He hears the 'ding' of the door, meaning that a potential customer had just walked in. The noise makes him flinch and cringe, sound resonating through his poor, poor ears. He doesn't even bother looking up from the book he's currently reading, something about a girl who falls in love with a man, but the man gets cursed and turns into a horse, so the girl can't be with him. It's quite interesting, in his opinion. He sighs, flips the page, and waits for the customer to either walk out, or pay for something.

There's a crash.

Please, god, please, Ryan thinks to himself, please let there be nothing broken. He looks up, and sees a young man scrambling to pick up a couple of records that he had supposedly dropped, and thanks the lord that nothing is damaged. Nobody else is at their stations, Jac and Keltie are probably too busy sucking Ryan's dick behind his back to even care, and so Ryan decides that this has to be his problem, because if nobody else is going to fix it, he has to, as much as he doesn't care about his stupid job.