For When Your Heart is Broken

10: Weak in Spirit

    ~Before we begin, it should be noted what happened on the night before the servant's departure.
    To clear things up a bit:

    This is around the time Shuu had gotten intoxicated on blood wine and had to be dragged back to the hotel by Fuzen. He had been gargling a bunch of depressed nonsense after the third glass, and by the time he lost count, he could hardly lift his head.
Whenever the Ghoul had been situated, the servant was about to take their place on the sleeping bag on the floor (there were no two-bed suites available) only to have the Gourmet wailing about being too damn cold.
He was given a thicker blanket.
Soon afterwards he said that he felt bad for the other having to sleep on the ground, that he was was lonely, and that he wanted Fuzen to lie down on the bed with him.
Upon being objected to, he slurred an offhand, "Nnnn~ope," and proceeded to throw himself into the floor.
    Fuzen thought that neither of them would have a bit of sleep if this kept up, so, they decided to oblige, thus having heaved the Koukaku onto the bed to lie beside him.
That damn Gourmet was a cuddler, too. Fuzen woke up to arms wrapped around their frame, face to face with a blissfully sleeping Tsukiyama.
Soon after that God awful ordeal, their day continued.

    Later, Tsukiyama Shuu was left in solitude, without a single familiar soul within reach.
    He would've cried had it not been that his tear-ducts were long since dried up from his crying over Kaneki.

Meanwhile, in Tokyo:

    Kankei had awoken to the sound of Nishio complaining about the air conditioning.

"What the hell do you think we need 65 degree (F) air for!? I'm freezing my ass off in my sleep! You realise that we can catch a cold, don't you?!" Ranted the Bikaku.
A squeak of apology followed, then an angry sigh, and a slamming door.

The door is what had woken him up, really.
The conversation was vaguely comprehensible in his drowsy brain.

It is pretty cold... His mind yawned, mirroring his outward yawn.
"Ugh... what do I do...?"

Soon, he found himself meandering back to Hinami, where he sought her out to consult the box of letters for reassurance.
God knows he needed it.

Hastily, he gripped the key he had strung around his necklace, then opened the chest.

The chimera Ghoul had left him at the door, so now here he was, staring into a box of letters from a man who was long gone and likely never to be found.

Somewhere, deep in his mind, Ken knew... he would have to come back willingly.
Without a doubt, he would. There was no way in hell to track him.
It was frustrating; Tsukiyama wasn't the type to cower from his problems...

Ken scoffed at the direction of his own thoughts.
Prodding through the letters, he sought out one to catch his eye.
Soon enough, one did.

For when your spirit is weak.

...

My Sweet Kaneki,

I'm rather shocked that you've actually picked this one up at all.
A lot can be said about you, my King, but one thing is for sure:
You are not weak in any manner.
You have some moments of weakness, for certain. However, you have no particular point of weakness.
I am saying this as indifferently as I can.

As a person appreciative of art as I am, it is a bit easier for me to do that. To set aside my bias, and try to broaden my perspective. Some things I just won't budge on, however.
You are one of those things.

One day, I looked to myself, and I asked:
What are you doing?

A simple question, oui?
Non, je ne sais pas.
I don't think so.

The answer is... what?
Defensively, one might respond,
"Well, what the hell are you doing!?"

Do you know why?
Because...
They don't know.

Ask yourself, Kaneki-kun.

What are you doing?

Why do you feel weak in spirit?
Is there something particular troubling you?
If you can answer that, then answer this:

What are you going to do about it?

There's no sense in lingering on our troubles, after all.
Fix them.

Do you know what moments of weakness I myself have faced?
No, and you never will, because this isn't about me.
I have come to terms with my issues, and though I am likely unhappy...

I am not regretting it.

I feel that this was what was best for you, because honestly... you're better off without me.
You should eventually discard these.
This one in particular.
There's no need for it.

It is rather late, and I am in a wretched mood, so I apologise if this is not what you wanted it to be.
This was not for reconciliation.

Please, gather the pieces and place them together.
You are not hopeless, nor helpless.
Seek out support.

Sincerely, S. Tsukiyama.

...

    That was the first time Shuu had ever given a formal ending.
He must have really been upset that evening.

Kaneki blinked his eyes closed for a moment, trying to clear his mind from his worries.

Before he realised it, he had drifted off into a fitful sleep.

(A/N: I am so sorry for all of the filler lately; I know my basic outline of how this is gonna work out and crap, but damn I'm having a fit tying it together. Longer parts to come, for sure!)

(AH, ALSO: The servant is likely not going to be involved any further. Honestly, I never intended them having a name, hence the ambiguity of Fuzen's gender/appearance. Bye, now~!)

(Psst, if it's smut you're looking for in this story, I probably won't have any; but if you want, I could add it to my mainly-smut story' "Admin Drabbles: Oops, My Hand Slipped?!??" based off of this plot... Lemme know what'cha think... I'll try and deliver, heheh... see ya later!)