The Guardian

Chapter 27: Bulletproof

"Quinn, honey you need to eat something." My mom said again for the fifth time. She didn't understand that I didn't feel like eating. I didn't feel at all. I had a huge pit in my stomach, and I couldn't shake it. I was hurting. I was back to the beginning. I was that helpless broken Quinn. The girl I would do anything to get rid of.

I had been in the hospital for a week so far. The doctors told me I had a concussion, but besides that the only other damage was scratches from the glass. I had three major gashes. One on my upper chest, one down my calf, and the other was on my face. There was nothing wrong with my baby. She was still perfect, and somehow avoided damage in the crash thankfully.

Against my will, I was forced to see the hospital psychiatrist. I was not happy about that. Today was my first session, and I couldn't leave the hospital until they said I could. My nurse Charlie, who seemed to be the only one who actually understand the shit I was going through, wheeled me to the room where I was to have this session.

She introduced herself as Doctor Amy Rivers. She had medium length wildly curled red hair. She had a naturally beautiful face. Her accent was foreign, but it wasn't from a certain region. Her office was homey and warm. She had a comfy couch for me to sit on. I actually felt somewhat safe in the room.

"How are you feeling today, Quinn?" was the first thing Dr. Rivers asked me. Maybe it was protocol. Mmm. Honestly I was on meds, and I couldn't feel a thing.

"I am doing good for my circumstances." I lied. I was falling apart, again.

"That's good." she replied, scribbling something in a small notebook she held. She looked up and gave me a big smile. "So, is it a boy or a girl?"

"I don't know yet. I didn't want to know. I like surprises. I have a feeling it's a girl though. Intuition." I sighed.

"Mother's intuition is usually right." she said.

"Are you a mother?" I asked. She gave me a small smile.

"Yes, I was. Not anymore though."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's ok. He was a solider. Died with honor. My sweet David." She looked at the ground as if to recall a memory, and then looked up at me. "Anyways, Quinn. Let's talk about the crash. What lead you to be out there? What choices did you make to lead you to that spot?"

"I was trying to find someone. I went to Tyler's to see if he was there. He wasn't, so Tyler was going to help me. I was rude to him. The last thing he heard from me was a snarky comment. Oh my God.. I didn't hate him! I didn't! He just made me mad, and I was having a bad day. I didn't see the truck.. I didn't know it was coming!" tears streamed down my face. Crying didn't make me feel better. I felt weak. How could I let him slip through my fingers. He was my friend. He died thinking I was mad at him. Guilt over took me. I started shaking violently, and sobbing uncontrollably.

"You can go back to your room now. I'll page Charlie." Dr. Rivers said pulling out her pager. Soon, Charlie came and got me. I hadn't stopped crying. I couldn't stop.

Charlie helped me into my bed, and pulled the covers up to my face. He pulled up a chair next to me. "Quinn, you have got to stop crying. You need to be strong. You're tougher than this." I wiped my cheek.

"How do you know? I've been through a big load of crap lately! Who are you to tell me what I am, and what I need to do!" I snapped.

"There is no need to be cross. I'm just trying to help. You are a strong girl. You are in no way weak or helpless. Whatever happened was not your fault. No matter what anyone says, it will not, and will never be your fault. You are as much of a victim as he was. You have suffered, but you just happened to survive. For some reason, God gave you another chance to live. A chance to change what's going on in your life. You're special. Don't ever let anyone ruin that for you, Quinn." He patted my shoulder. His pager went off, and left me alone in that hospital room.

My parents had both gone home, after I insisted, and they both realized they had to work tomorrow. Visiting hours were over, not that I was letting anyone see me anyways.

I stared at the ceiling, uninterested by the tv playing in the background. I was holding my belly, feeling my baby squirm and kick underneath my palm. She wasn't usually too active, so I laid there and took in the moment.

I closed my aching eyes, just for a moment. Memories of the crash crammed their way to the front of my mind. The sounds of metal crushing, glass shattering, and my silent screams. Pleas for help poured from my mind. I wished they would have gotten there sooner. They could have saved him. I don't know if it was from the head trama, or the fatal slashes on his legs and arms.

My mind flashed forward to when they pulled us out. The sound of my torn voice as I screamed his name. The realization that he was never coming back. It burned a hole in my broken battered heart. That pain was overwhelming. In that moment, I wished I was dead instead of him. He had a life ahead of him. He could have done whatever he wanted. He could have made a difference in the world, but me? No. I was going to be a single teenage mom who would grow up to be a nobody. Just another one of those parents that struggle to keep food on the table.

The memories sped up again. Now I was at the hospital being asked questions by the police. It was horrible. They were intimidating, and they scared me. Charlie was the one to sense my uneasiness, and made them go away.

Next was the reunion with my parents. I didn't want to see them. I wanted to be alone. My mom didnt understand this, and pressed and pressed me. I blew up in her face. The doctor had said I needed a calm, quiet environment. That didn't happen, and I started seizing. I didn't remember much of anything after that.

The sound of the door opening pulled me from my painful reminiscence. Somehow he had gotten past the doctors. A bouquet of soft pink roses were in his hands. He was looking at his phone and hadn't noticed that I had seen him. I quickly shut my eyes again and waited for him to leave.

His phone snapped shut, and I heard a chair scrape across the floor towards me. He put his hand in mine. "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry, Quinn. I should have never left you. Not then, not ever. You'll probably never forgive me for what I did. I hurt you Quinn. I'll never forgive myself for it. You are perfect, Quinn. You are strong, and daring. You are beautiful. You don't think it, and you don't think anyone can see past your belly, but I can. I don't see you as a girl that was knocked up by a douche. You are bulletproof. You have taken so many shots, and you won't give up. You run away sometimes, but you always come back and make the right choice. I love you, Quinn."

He squeezed my hand, and started to get up. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down to me. "I love you too, Christian." and I kissed him.

---author note---

Ello :) I am super tired right now. I wrote this just for you. I am currently over emotional and in need of some extreme chocolate. This chapter made me tear up, and I rarely cry. (Except during Doctor Who, Harry Potter, and Grey's Anatomy.) I hate you all for making me want to finish this damn story. It's so hard to write, and I am tired and I didnt care about proper grammar. I am also having mood swings. So I will end my little rant with this, you all need to vote, because well, Im awesome, and I never ask anything of you guys. I'm working hard for you, so help me out.

I love you all. :)

Joelle