Sold

27: Scorched, Hate

The insufferable old woman taps me with the heel of her foot, startling me awake atop the scratchy grass. I roll over, eyes cracked and glaring, as her gaze burns into my side. Reluctantly, I push myself into a sitting position and stare at her.

"If you're still willing to try, I'm still willing to teach." She pulls her foot back and stands square with her hands on her hips. 

"Oh, I'm certainly ready to try." The dark magick swirls in my chest, drawing my lungs and hearts into a squeeze. "If you're willing to teach me what I need to know."

"I may not teach you what you want to know, but I will teach you what you need to know." Her eyes twitch in a slight narrow, searching mine with caution. I don't like the look on her face; like she thinks she knows more about me than I know about myself - like she pities me.

My upper lip turns in a snarl as I rise to my feet. "Those two things are the same."

"Perhaps it's not something I can teach you." She turns away, pulling the frosted white hood on her cloak down to hide her face. Her voice lowers to a mumble - a whisper in the air I almost think is my imagination. "Perhaps you need to fail for yourself."

"What is my lesson today?" My words slice through the space between us, but she still doesn't turn around. She stops at the edge of the trees surrounding her home, peering into the distance.

"Last sunrise, it was taking your control away." She pauses, dragging her heel across the dirt. I hate that she won't turn around and look at me. Did she see something in my eyes she detested, that she didn't want to be a part of? Because she certainly acts like it. "Today, I'm giving you your control. Fail on your own. You're unhelpable."

"And you're delirious!" My shout echoes across the clearing. "You should be teaching me how to fight with this power so I can protect myself, so I can force my will upon the people chasing after me. They're likely coming to KILL me and you act like letting go is the answer. What, am I supposed to roll over and LET them kill me? I assure you, I've been doing that my entire life, and it has never ONCE helped!"

My magick vibrates my skin, splitting off and sparking against the green surrounding us. I want to burn it all down. The forest that reminds me too much of my awful past. The woman, who reminds me too much of the detestable Draconians. And even her home, which is disgustingly lavish compared to my home in my village.

I want to destroy everything. Especially Berea.

"Yes, you were over-controlled in your village. I know it hurt you. But seeking control over everything else isn't the answer. Over-controlling will only hurt you more." Berea's voice softens. "I know you feel exhausted. I know you feel lonely. I know you think having power over everything around you is the answer, but it isn't."

"It is." I step beside her and grab her shoulder, tugging her around to face me. I want to look her in those eyes. I need to see all the hate in her gaze before I kill her. "Having control, when I've had NONE for my ENTIRE life, is not a BAD thing!"

But, to my surprise, when I turn her to look at me her golden eyes are full of tears. I step back, looking at the ground with gritted teeth. Tears swell in my eyes.

"You're obsessed with seeking power and that's only going to push everything you want further from you. What is it you want, Saiea? To live without restriction? To be with a man who truly cares for you?"

 Berea's bottom lip quivers and bright yellow magick glows beneath her skin. "Your power restricts you. You found that man but your excessive thirst for control is only pushing him away and putting him in danger. You're so much like my daughter, I..."

My chest aches. Daughter. Visions of my mother cradling me flash through my memory. Berea does NOT care for me like a mother. She's harsh, she looks at me with disappointment, and... Would my own mother look at me like that if she was alive today?

A pained puff of air bursts from my lips and I shake my head as warm tears break from my eyes and twist down my cheeks. "I'm nothing like your daughter, and you're nothing like my mother!"

"Whose magick do you think is flowing through your veins?" Berea's skin brightens. Perhaps she can't even control her emotions all the time. "Do you know the reason why I am so harsh? My daughter DIED because of this same magick!"

I freeze. This magick...killed her daughter? 

Curiosity pricks beneath my blazing skin, keeping me silent. 

"Her mate was obsessed with power, so obsessed he urged her to collect as much as she could. The two of them killed so many of our people, draining their magick into a single crystal. She betrayed her mate, took all of the crystal's power for herself, and it destroyed her." Berea's shoulders tense. 

"As she laid dying with magick consuming her, she begged for my help, but it was too late." Berea's eyes are swollen red, her cheeks wet with tears. "She fell victim to a thirst for control and I couldn't save her. It was my fault. Our standards were too hard on her, and she never loved her mate, but I forced her into it for the good of our people. I was foolish."

"You killed her." I bristle, looking at the old woman in a new light. She is so much like my father; so quick to use me for her benefit and micromanage all of my actions. Her faults drove her daughter to an end. My blue lighting slices through the front of her home.

She deserves to be punished.

"She knew the dangers of her actions and she chose them anyway. I regret everything I had to do with it and I blame myself every sunrise for driving her to that point." Berea wipes the tears from her face.

The light trembling atop her skin settles. "But I can help you. I want to help you. I know this isn't what you want. You're alone, you're scared, you're angry, and you're hurting. If you let go of that need for more control and power, the magick will not consume you. You just have to-"

I point my hands at Berea, channeling all of my fury and hate.

And I let the magick surge toward her.