Tainted Blue

-04-

"Seohyun-sshi, have you had any idea what happened to your loved one?" I casually asked as I was pressing my fingers on the piano keys, trying to think of a certain song.

"I think he's with another girl now." She simply stated as I was caught guilty by her calm tone. Seohyun would have still been together with that guy she called Kris, if only I haven't meddled with her life. If not for my selfishness.

She deserved nothing like this, and yet I was the very reason for her distress.

I was so selfish back then, and probably still am.

"Don't think you're at fault now." I felt her smile through her words, but she was always too kind to admit her worries. She was that kind of girl. Sweet and very loveable.

"You know what? Let's just unwind for a bit. Choose a song, I'll play and you'll sing."

I smiled and nodded, my mind already made up.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I sang the first part.

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

I started, and I concluded that she was now a bit taken aback by my choice, for she remained silent, but ended up guiding the keys in my hand, the instrument softly accompanying me now.

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Cause your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

I sang the words, extracting all the emotions I've barely showed, as the breeze suddenly brushed in, gently touching my bare shoulders, another figure of him displayed in my mind.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

I imagined him guiding me to the shore as the sunset was evidently alluring, the sun rays doing little to affect us with its warmth, and me, resting my head on his shoulder as he would gently squeeze my tiny hand in his big and comfortable one.

He would brush it with his thumb, whispering sweet nothings to my ear, as I would smile and say nothing.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have

All of me

After watching the setting sun, there would always be a comfortable amount of silence.

But that day, after that silence, was a thing far from being comfortable.

"Soojung.... You know, I have to leave."

I slowly turned my head to face his, dumbfounded by his words.

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

Leave? Why?

What was it that was wrong?

Was it becase of my stubborn personality?

Was it because I came from a middle-class family that I wasn't approved to be his lover?

Was it... everything we had that I thought was perfect, that I missed some significant minor things?

These wounds won'tseem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

"I'm leaving tomorrow. You always know how I wanted to explore the world, right?"

"But..How about me? Am I not part of your dream? Your future?" I said with a weak voice.

"It's too risky to bring you with me. What if something will happen? I can't guarantee your safety, so please stay. I'll be back for you." He reassured, but to no avail.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have 

All of me 

What if he won't come back?

What if he'll find someone who is much more worthy of his love?

I didn't know what to say, but that didn't stop the warm liquids from running down my cheeks.

He was leaving. He was leaving me for his dreams.

"I'll be back for you." He squeezed my hand and looked at me straight in the eyes, before kissing my forehead.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

But though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

My voice broke. And tears were threatening to fall.

Seohyun stopped playing as my hands fell to my side, my eyes dropping their usual view, as I was rendered silent by the memories that flashed through my mind.

I'm losing myself once again, for the same reason in all of these years.

"He left me... Why...?" I tried my best to hold back the tears, but they kept on bursting out.

I eyed the blue rose lying at the corner of the coffee table, its consoling form giving me a sense of attraction.

I approached it, picking it up and placing it on my palm.

"You were once so pure, so beautiful, only to be dipped in a sad color of mystery. A rare existence. A blue rose."

Tears were still falling, as a bitter smile was displayed on my face.

-

Pitful Krystal. ;-; Yep, and it's Luhan's fault.

I would really really appreciate comments. I would answer them, promise. ;-;