Hope Begins to Fade

Hiding in the Shadows with Shadows

Matt's and my sneaking around on the night of the party set the tone for the rest of our stay in the castle. We couldn't keep our hands off each other but only in secret. The others didn't seem to notice that anything was amiss although I suspected that Brooks might have noticed that something was up. We'd had a couple of close calls where people had nearly caught us when we were engaged in a clinch. The closest being when Brooks had walked in on us in the utility room seconds after Matt had me pressed up against the washing machine kissing me breathless. The sound of a foot scuffing against the stone flagged floor had us breaking apart and me bending over into the washing machine as my face heated. Matt leaned back against the folding bench and said casually, "So if you can find that t-shirt it'll be great. Save us all from an epic meltdown, you know how obsessed he is."

I straightened up, heart racing and continued the ruse by asking, "Which one was it again?" I let my eyes drift to Brooks who was stacking empty bottles into a cardboard box.

"The Iron Maiden one," Matt supplied his gaze fixed on me. I couldn't stop myself from pressing my hand to my lips which were still tingling from his kiss.

"Problems?" Brooks asked turning to us as he finished his task.

"Just a little one. Bill's lost his favourite t-shirt, he's a bit obsessed with Iron Maiden at the moment," I babbled trying to sell our lie. Not that the Stallyn's obsession with Iron Maiden was a lie, after all not only was their father a fan but so was their favourite movie duo.

"Well you are in pickle aren't you?" Brooks said his tone carefully neutral and I felt a prickle of awareness that maybe he'd seen more than he was letting on. At exactly that moment Bill came running through the kitchen and skidded to a stop at the doorway to the utility room.

"Dad," he squealed, "can we go in the pool?" I gave him a fond smile which just as quickly dropped off my face. He was wearing the damn Iron Maiden t-shirt. Matt and I looked at each, other his eyes went wide and it was like the colour that drained from his face rushed into mine.

"Sure thing buddy," Matt said and started after Bill who darted off shouting to his brother that they were going in the pool. Matt cleared his throat, "We're uh, hitting the pool." I watched him walk away before turning awkwardly to Brooks who said mildly, "Looks like you found that t-shirt." He gave me a pat on the arm before leaving me to my mortification.

I was glad for the days when Matt disappeared for a few hours with some of the others to play golf. Even though I was at the stage where I wanted to see him all the time it was a relief to my shattered nerves to not have to hide my feelings for him in front of everyone else. It wasn't exactly a case of out of sight out of mind but more a chance to relax and not worry about giving away what was going on between us with an ill-timed look or touch.

One night Steph approached me as we all sat out on the back terrace star-gazing. "I just wanted to talk to you about Matt," she said and adrenalin began to course through my system. Crap. She'd noticed something. After Brooks had almost sprung us we'd been careful not to get too close when the others were around. Late at night in my bed we touched and kissed and talked.

"What about Matt?" I asked with forced casualness. Was this the moment when our secret was going to be revealed?

Steph looked uncomfortable. "Well I've noticed that since your birthday party you've been avoiding Matt."

Huh. That was not what I'd expected. I nodded at her to continue. She shivered as she sat down next to me and I flipped the blanket that was covering me over her legs.

"I feel like it's my fault because I only told you about Matt suggesting the party and now you're angry with him."

I looked at her in surprise. "Matt didn't plan the party with you?"