We Found Love In A Homeless Place《COMPLETE》

June 28th

I'm such an idiot!

What the hell was wrong with me?

Yelling at Remy like that, and for what?! Because he was concerned about me, and my knee jerk response was to be defensive about my choices. 

All he wanted to do was give me some help and advice, and I just through it in his face. I'm such a horrible girlfriend. I need to figure things out a little bit, then try to fix all of this. 

Last night I pretty much told him that I would drop him from my life, how could I even think of doing that to Remy? I'm falling so hard and fast for that man I'm starting to think that it must be more than simply having a crush on him.

All day I have been lost in my thoughts when ever I had a spare moment, work obviously limiting how much I can. I even went to a cafe near by for my lunch break so I could think without interruption. 

After I got back to the apartment I went straight to my room to look over my TAFE guide and information. I needed to work all of my life out, all of it seeing to come together faster than I ever thought it could. 

Spending an hour lost in my thoughts while making sure to prioritise everything, I finally think I have it all sorted. 

I can't do much about work, but I also don't need to. I work 9:00 - 5:00 from Monday to Friday at the vet clinic, and if I ever needed a little time off I know Chris wouldn't mind. Plus I get to enjoy annual and sick leave now. 

My TAFE course is one of the things I needed to work out the most. And I think I have. Each module has an estimated number of hours that it will require to be completed. So as long as I do at least ten hours each week, I'll complete it on time. Potentially sooner if I get more done than expected in those hours too. 

I'm going to start doing one hour each night after work and another two and a half hours on the weekends at some point each day. With that I should be able to have plenty of time spare if I need to do spokesperson work, or personal time.

Though personal time won't mean anything if I can't fix things with Remy though. I need to fix this, and fast. The silence between us today has been torturous.

By the time I'm finished working out everything, the sun in long down and my stomach is growling to tell me how hungry I am. Deciding to take care anything that might get in the way of us talking, I head down stairs to get dinner first.

Skipping everything else tonight, I head back up to our place for the night. 

Noticing Remy isn't in the lounge room with Eddy and Pat, I start to get worried that he's still at work just to avoid me. Were things really so bad between us?

"He said he was having an early night." Eddies voice breaks through my inner panic attack.

"What?" I breathe out.

"He didn't seem too good, so he said he was going to bed. Is everything okay?" He looks me over, concern covering his face.

"No, I fucked up badly yesterday. I was hoping to talk to him and sort this out."

"Well I doubt he's actually asleep. Go in there and talk to him." Eddie nudges me, grabbing his keys for work.

"Okay, hopefully he's not asleep already." I whisper, smiling gratefully at him.

As he goes out to work, I head to my room to at least get ready for bed. I suspect if he turns me away, I'm going to spend the night moping in bed. Changing into my singlet and PJ shorts, brushing my teeth and hair, I head out of my room anxiously.

"Good luck." Pat smiles at me, giving my a little reassurance.

"Thanks." I mumble, walking over to kiss his head goodnight. 

Quietly making my way to Remy's door, I knock gently hoping he'll answer to show he's awake still. After a minute of nothing, I start second guessing what I'm about to do. Looking over at Pat to see him waving me in, smiling that reassuring smile at me.

Taking in a deep breath, I open the door as quietly as possible. Looking over to the lump under one of the bed, I worry he might have actually gone to sleep already. 

Making my way over to his bed, I try to nudge him awake. Receiving only a groan in response, I call him name a for it to barely register through the haze of sleep.

"Eddy, go away." He mumbles out eventually.

"It's not Eddy." I whisper to him.

"Thought you'd want to be as far away from me as possible." He whispers sadly.

I stand by my earlier statement, I'm an idiot.

Deciding to take the risk, I pull his covers back slightly before sliding in next to him. The warmth he offers reminding me of the hugs I miss already. 

"I'm so sorry Rem. I don't know what was going on through my head last night but I was so out of line. I don't want to lose you from my life." I whisper, facing him but keeping my distance.

He doesn't answer for a few minutes, leaving me to feel dejected about even trying in the first place. I know I'm not good at relationships, only understanding the obvious such as like don't cheat. But I thought trying to work it out was a step in the right direction.

Just as I'm rolling over to get out of his bed, I feel his warm hand wrap around my side. His arm curling around my waste makes me smile, hope blooming through me at the thought that I wasn't too late.

"Stay." He whispers, pulling my body flush against his.

Rolling over to face him again, I snuggle in under his chin as he holds me close. His scent calming my nerves, but only ever so slightly since I don't know where we stand.

"I'm sorry." I say again, needing him to know how truly I am.

"I know, I'm sorry too." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you were just trying to look out for me. But I guess I'm still not used to that. I don't want to lose you, please let me stay in your life." I please, my voice thickening with emotion at the thought of losing him.

"You'll never lose me from your life, so long as you want me in it." He kisses the top of my head, lingering for a moment. As I cuddle further into his hold, I can't help the relief I feel.

"I never want you out of my life." I whisper.

"So does this mean I still have my girlfriend?" He asks after a few moments of us cuddled so close it was suffocating. 

"Yes, if you still want me as your girlfriend." I say, sad at the thought of him not wanting me still.

"I'll always want you, Aria. Forever and always."

Holding him tight, I smile into his neck as sleep slowly takes over.

I'm so glad I didn't lose this man, even if things aren't perfect I couldn't imagine not having him in my life.