Count On Me

Walk of Shame

I'm updating a day early because I expect to be busy with the 4th of July holiday tomorrow.  But for now I'll usually be updating Wednesdays and Saturdays.  Have a safe and happy Independence Day to those here in the USA. 

Yes, I'm still planning on this story being Fourtris, in case you're having your doubts! We'll hear what Tobias has been up to soon-ish. Thanks as always for your comments!

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Something wakes me, and at first I am not sure what. I can feel the warmth radiating from Tobias's body next to me in his bed and I look around the room for a moment before grabbing my phone to check for any missed calls or texts. Dad is out of town and Mom thinks I'm sleeping over at Susan's. Susan is covering for me, but I want to make sure there haven't been any problems. The screen is blank, no notifications. I sigh in relief.

"Beatrice!" Tobias calls out my name where he lays beside me. It's somewhere between a whisper and a cry, and I lift my head to see what is the matter. I can barely see him in the dark room, the street lights shining through the blinds are the only source of light.

Tobias is laying on his back on the inside of the bed, closer to the wall. I know I fell asleep with his chest pressed against my back, and his right arm is still trapped beneath me but he is not sleeping soundly. He twists and writhes, tangling himself in the sheets, and his brows have knitted together with a deep crease between them.

"No!" he calls out, louder this time. "No! Not her. Please...Beatrice..."

I sit up in bed, grip his shoulders in my hands and begin shaking him awake. "Tobias," I say gently, leaning in close to his ear. "Tobias, wake up." His face twists as if in agony and one arm flies out; I barely dodge it before it would hit me in the face. "Wake up for me. Please, Tobias!" I begin kissing his forehead and cheeks, continuing to beg for him to come out of whatever nightmare he is having.

Suddenly his eyelids fly open. I see the panic in his eyes as he searches my face, breathing heavily. "Beatrice," he whispers, reaching up to stroke my cheek with his thumb. "You're alright."

"It was only a dream, Tobias." My voice is shaking and my heart is pounding. Seeing him like that, not being able to pull him out of his nightmare, it scared me. "I'm here. You're fine. We're okay. It was just a bad dream."

He nods slowly, the slivers of yellow light from the window making the tears pooling in his eyes glisten. He pulls me close, so my chin rests in the hollow of his neck, and presses his lips to my forehead. I lay my hand on his chest and feel his heart pounding through his skin. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him.

Tobias is silent for a long moment, then he shakes his head. "Okay," I whisper. I melt further into him and sigh. "I love you, Tobias."

Tobias traps my chin between his fingers and tilts my face up to look at him. "I love you too, Beatrice," he says quietly. Then he leans in and captures my lips in his own. He kisses me sweetly at first, but it soons becomes hungry, both of us forgetting whatever it was that had tormented his sleep, and before I know it his hands are gripping my hips, our tongues are exploring each other's mouths, and we are desperately trying to get closer to each other even though we are already pressed against each other, even though there isn't even a scrap of fabric between us, but it still isn't close enough.

I hear him rummaging in the nightstand drawer for a condom but we still don't break the kiss, we need one another too desperately, can't stand to break apart from each other. His mouth trails down my jaw, my neck, my sternum and I am panting, arching my back toward him, can't think, can't breathe, can't separate myself from him, just need to be one with him.

He pulls away only to rip the wrapper open with his teeth and I roll the condom onto him. He kisses back up my hot, damp skin, sucks at my neck for a moment. Then he captures me in another scorching kiss just as I feel him push into me―

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SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2014 | 8:10 AM | TRIS

My eyes fly open, my breaths coming fast and shallow. I look around the room, and it isn't dark like it was a moment ago, but brightly lit with morning light that shines in through the uncovered window. I am too warm, body heat radiating off of Tobias's naked body next to my own.

No, not Tobias. Tobias is gone. And this isn't Tobias's room.

It's Uriah's room.

Now my breath is shallow and fast for an entirely different reason. I slowly and carefully roll over, suddenly extremely aware that nothing separates my skin from the sheets, which are pulled up only to my waist, leaving my breasts completely exposed to the air.

I finally dare to look at the person next to me. I knew who it was but I didn't want to believe it. But now, seeing Uriah sprawled out next to me on his stomach with the sheet draped around his waist, I can't deny what is in front of me, what I am seeing with my own eyes.

His lips are parted and one arm is under the pillow, folded beneath it under his head. He looks younger in his sleep, just as Tobias always did. His back is bare, shirtless, and I can't see below his waist with the bunched up sheet over his lower half but I know that he is as naked as I am.

Tears pool in my eyes, I feel like I am going to hyperventilate.

What have I done?

How could I be so stupid and careless?!

I slept with my best friend, my rock, my lifeline. And it will change everything. I know it.

Tears begin to stream down my cheeks and I wipe them away with my hands. I have to get out of here. I have to leave, before he wakes up, and figure out what to do. Maybe if I get out of here fast enough, before he wakes, he won't remember it. We were really, really drunk last night.

But not so drunk as to prevent flashes of memory from coming back to me. I can only hope that Uriah was more wasted than I was.

I gingerly inch off the bed, careful not to wake him. I quietly search the floor to pick out my own discarded clothing from the mess of Uriah's dirty clothes that litter the floor. When I find them, I dress carefully, ignoring the pounding in my head from the worst hangover I've ever had. I pick up my flip flops and carry them in one hand as I slip silently out of the room, closing the door but not latching it, not wanting to risk any sound waking him before I can get out of here.

I have to leave. I have to think.

I tiptoe down the stairs. The house is quiet. Good. When I checked my phone a minute ago it read 8:15, so there's a chance that I will be able to escape before anyone wakes, or at least before they venture downstairs.

I'm almost to the front door, for a minute I think I've made it. I am only a little over a yard away, already reaching for the handle when I hear the knob jiggle and the door swings open.

I jump and gasp and Zeke gives me a puzzled look as he walks in. His face is red with beads of sweat, his hair nearly dripping, and he wears basketball shorts and a sleeveless shirt that is visibly drenched from perspiration. He must just be getting back from a morning run.

"Morning, Tris. Wild night, eh?" he chuckles. "I'll pretend I didn't witness the walk of shame." Then he winks. I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. Judging by the way my cheeks feel like they are on fire, he can probably tell.

"Uh, thanks, I guess," I mumble. "See ya, Zeke."

My car is just parked at the curb, but right now, each yard may as well be a mile. I can't get out of here fast enough.

I start my car and speed off. But when I am a safe distance from Uriah's house, I pull over and bury my face in my hands and cry.

Because I know that I just ruined the one thing in my life that I could count on.