You're Still Way Over There: A Brallie Fanfic

Ch 7: You're My Home

Callie

Lena decides the best thing is for me, Mariana, Jesus and Jude is to go to school the day of Brandon's surgery since there's nothing we can do while a team of doctors spends hours reconstructing Brandon's hand. I want to protest but I'm afraid I'll burst into tears or something that will totally give away how I really feel so I remain quiet and get in the car.

During a free period, I hole up in the music room. If I can't be close to Brandon, at least I can go somewhere that I feel close to him. I strum on one of the guitars and imagine that he's sitting at the piano and we're playing together, his hand back at 100%. I can hear the music he would make so vividly in my mind.

I'm lost in these thoughts when Wyatt comes into the room and puts his arms around me. I let him hold me and, just for a minute, pretend that it's Brandon's arms around me. But we don't fit together the same way and I find myself totally annoyed that he's interrupting my time with Brandon who isn't even here. And it occurs to me how completely ridiculous that is. He's my boyfriend, I should be happy to see him; I should be taking advantage of this opportunity to sneak in some making out time during school. But the only person I want to sneak kisses with is currently lying on a surgeon's table. And if that's the case, and that is definitely the case, I shouldn't be stringing Wyatt, who has been nothing but good to me, along just because it's impossible for me and Brandon to be together.

He offers to drive me to the hospital after school, saying he knows I'll want to be a good sister and check on Brandon. Lately, Wyatt has been using the brother and sister labels more and more when referring to Brandon and me. It's like he's testing my reaction. I tell him no, that it should just be family, that I'll go with Lena later.

He turns to leave and because I know I'll lose the nerve if I don't do it now, I say, "Wyatt, we can't do this anymore. I do love you; you were my first, well my second, real friend at Anchor Beach. But I'm just not in love with you, I'm sorry. I wanted to be. I tried." And it's true, I did try. "And it's not fair to you, you deserve more than I can give you."

He looks sad, but in no way surprised, and says, "So you're still in love with him?"

Not able to deny it today, I say, "Brandon and I can't be together. Stef and Lena are adopting me. I'm not dumping you to be with him." And all of that is true. It's killing me but it's not a lie.

Maybe because he's hurt, maybe because he's angry, maybe because he thinks it's the truth, he looks at me and says, "This family you want so much, Callie. You're going to screw it all up. You're in love with their son, as much as you try to deny it, and one day this thing with you and him is going to completely blow up because the two of you can't just be smart and let it die. And when it does, it's going to be bad. For you. For him. For Stef & Lena. For Jude." He leaves then and I feel the tears coming and lean against the piano, Brandon's piano, to steady myself.

Somehow I push his words out of my head for the rest of the day. I eat lunch with Mariana; I get through my last 2 classes. I go about seven to eight seconds at a time without worrying about Brandon.

Finally, I find myself in Lena's office at the end of the day and she tells me that Brandon came through the surgery well, that he's sleeping in recovery now. Every cell in my body relaxes hearing that news. We head to the hospital just the two of us as Mariana, Jesus and Jude all have afterschool things and will visit later.

When we get to Brandon's room, I'm surprised to see him sitting up and awake. "It's Callie!," he says way too excitedly. "He's feeling really good with the pain meds and the anesthesia," Mike laughs. I am all of the sudden filled with terror. He's basically high right now and I have no idea what he's going to say or do. "Please God, if you exist, don't let him make any declarations of love with them here," I pray silently.