You're Still Way Over There: A Brallie Fanfic

Ch 13: Tell the Truth

Stef

I realize that I've majorly screwed up in not telling Lena about Callie and Brandon when both of them appear at the breakfast table a few days before adoption day looking like someone died.

I had every intention of telling her once the surgery was over. But she was still struggling with grief from losing the baby and I just couldn't find the right time to tell her news that would jeopardize making Callie our child, at least legally. And then Brandon told me he'd never forgive me if I so much as broached the issue with Callie.

So I told myself that they'd made a mature decision to end it (again) and that we could adopt her and that Lena didn't need to be upset about this. And even though I knew this was all bullshit, I talked myself into it. The status quo. Because until a few weeks ago, the status quo in our house had seemed pretty damn perfect. Why upset it when they aren't forcing the issue? It was what we all agreed to when she started living with us again.

But I don't think we're going to get through adoption day without all of this blowing up. Looking at their faces, I don't think we're going to get through breakfast.

Brandon

Mariana and I take our seats at the table right as Lena asks Callie about whether she wants a new dress for "Adoption Day." And the selfish part of me wants to cut her off right there and tell her, "You can't adopt her because earlier this morning, I was fucking her upstairs while all of you slept." But I don't. For her.

I focus intently on my cantaloupe so I don't have to hear about this dress that she's going to wear on the day when Mom and Lena make her my legal sister while I stand in the courtroom with a forced smile thinking about how much I want to take her home to my bed and rip it off her.

I'm engrossed in taking all my frustration out on this cantaloupe when I hear her sobbing. Full blown sobbing into her own cantaloupe.

It kills me to see her in pain. I've had this overwhelming urge to protect her from the first time I saw her but it's increased a million times over with the events of last night. All I want to do in that second is wrap up her up in my arms and fix this. Except I can't fix this because I'm the reason she's having this nervous breakdown during what would otherwise be a nice family breakfast.

And she looks at me for a second like she wants me to do something. And I do want to do something. I hope she knows that I would do anything if I knew what the right something was. But I have no idea what she wants so I'm paralyzed. I don't want to go left if she wants to go right.

And if I go the wrong way on this, there's no going back.

Callie

I don't know why but Lena bringing up a new dress for adoption day just opens the floodgates. I'm crying about nothing specifically but absolutely everything. How much I love Stef and Lena. How grateful I am that they've opened their home and want to make me their daughter. How Jude probably hates me. How I just had my real first time and how Brandon squeezed my hand and brushed the hair out of my face and how it was so so different from that awful night with Liam. How I'm falling deeper and deeper in love every day with the green eyed boy who is sitting across from me with a look of abject terror on his face. How I don't want to hurt him. How I don't want to hurt them. Or Jude. How for once, just once, I wish things could be easy for me.

Lena asks me why I'm crying, then she asks everyone else when I don't answer. And I assume that Brandon will finally talk. Or that Mariana will start going on and on about love.

And then I feel Jude squeeze my hand and say, "Because she's in love with Brandon. So we can't adopt her. Or else she'll just end up running away again."

Jude

I'm not mad at Callie for loving Brandon. I've known all along that something was going on again with them. I can read my sister like a book and I knew from the night of that party that something was up. And I'm also the most observant person in the house by far. So I've seen how their eyes are always on each other. How he'll go out of his way to brush into her for a second. How she lets him. How she's magically become someone who rises before dawn. So what I heard in Mariana's room was nothing I didn't know.

I'm mad at her because we made a pact years ago when we first went into foster care that we would tell each other everything, that we would have no secrets from each other. But the thing is Callie has never kept that promise. Instead, she keeps things from me to try to protect me. But all that ends up doing is making everything worse when her secrets come out and she panics and then she pushes away everyone before we can help her. And I'm just so tired of her doing this especially now that we actually have a family who loves us.

Things have changed so much since I saw them kissing at the wedding. I know that this is more than just some stupid crush Callie has. They love each other. I saw how much of a wreck Callie was the day of his surgery. I heard her telling Mariana this morning that they're in love. And Brandon really cares about her. He stepped aside before when she said she wanted to be adopted even though she pretty much broke his heart. He's been going along with this whole adoption plan when he could have stopped it at any point just to make her happy. He's good to her and he's good for her.

I also know that the Moms aren't going to throw us out. They can't throw me out, I'm adopted. And they'll keep Callie too. I know they will. They might be mad about the sneaking around but they'll find a way if she would just talk to them. They know better than anyone that you can't help who you fall in love with.

Except she won't. Because she thinks she's protecting me or maybe them. Or because she thinks she isn't good enough for Brandon, that she's made his life harder. Because she doesn't realize that good stuff can happen for her.

Callie's done some dumb stuff but she's also the best sister in the world. Since she was ten, she's been putting me before her. She took care of me. Always. So I'm going to do what I know she won't do. And what I know Brandon won't do because he thinks she doesn't want him to. I'm going to tell the truth. I'm going to take care of Callie for once. I'm going to make sure she gets a chance to be happy.

I squeeze her hand as I start to talk.