Lost in the Void. (Craig X Tweek) (Creek)

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THIS STORY WILL TAKE PLACE IN AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE WHERE THE TWO DO NOT KNOW EACH OTHER. THE ONLY SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THIS AND 'CONFUSION.' ARE KENNY AND KYLE.

(Disclaimer: Somewhat depressing thoughts.)

Craig's PoV

In the 17 year old's bedroom.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to just disappear?

To have everything fall away and be left to yourself for a little while?

How about, to just feel nothing?

That would be me right about now.

I was just laying on my back, on top of my comforter, staring at my ceiling. My star stickers had long since fallen off, leaving a hole in my heart. Ever since I could remember, I'd always been fascinated with space. It wasn't just the beauty of the stars, or the intricacy of the different worlds and galaxies, it was a place where I could be alone. I could always think clearly with just a telescope and a pad of paper. 

Nowadays though, that feeling of being at home had basically vanished. Family life had gotten harder, and the only time I had to myself was when I either skipped school, or called in sick at the movie theater. I had finally accepted the fact that I wouldn't make it into a college with a good astrophysicist program and was most likely stuck in this crappy town forever.

I was stuck in a rut of nothingness. Thoughts floating around without any true meaning. It was like I stuck my head into a black hole and kept screaming for help over and over again but no one bothered to even notice I was missing. I was a husk of my former self.  

I stopped giving a fuck years ago. My dad didn't help with his constant neglect and abusive actions. My mother of all people tried to help, but turned to the bottle once her actions were futile. It was basically just me making sure Ruby would stay safe and out of trouble so that sh wouldn't have to get the tar beaten out of her. She was another reason that I decided to not go to college. I had to make sure that she made it out okay too.

I rolled over on my side for the first time in hours. It was Friday afternoon, and I had skipped my last three periods after lunch. I just couldn't stand to see people being so happy. It made me want to throw up the little amount of food I had consumed. I threw off my chullo hat, and ran a hand through my hair, sighing.

I would have to go out sometime this weekend, probably to get a drink or something with nicotine. Maybe I'd see Kenny.

Over the years, Token and Clyde had stuck to the sober path, and we all drifted apart. Stan's group of people did the same, kicking Cartman to the side. Kenny kind of started to do his own thing and somehow ended up with Kyle at the end of last year. Kenny and I had grown closer, mainly because our pull to alcohol and cigarettes. Stan even joined us a few times by the back of school. He never smoked, but he sure could handle some booze.

I slowly pulled myself up and off of my bed, placing my feet on the floor. I stood for a second, staring off into nothing as I absentmindedly fiddled with the hem of my shirt. I had long ago abandoned wearing my blue hoodie 24/7 and instead wore long sleeved gray shirts. I saved my hoodie for special occasions, or when school became to unbearable. 

One of those special occasions, was right about now. I walked over to my closet and carefully pulled out my favorite hoodie, swiftly pulling it on along with my favorite blue hat. It felt a bit weird wearing the same clothes I had as a kid, but I soon shrugged it off. I felt nice and cozy, almost at home, for the first time in ages. I hadn't worn my hat and hoodie together in what was probably years.