From Your Beloved

2022

It was overwhelming to see him again after almost two years and it was more difficult to leave him when I know I’m almost at my limit.

I stood bravely outside YG sajangnim’s office the morning after our encounter at the tower. I told the girls about my decision last night and as expected, they almost went hysterical - especially Jennie unnie. But I have already made up my mind, and they couldn’t stop me now because I’ve had enough sacrifices. I think it’s time I become selfish and think about myself than other people.

I was about to come in when I heard Chaeyoung’s sweet voice shout my name.

She ran towards me and the others were behind her.

“You crazy girl!” She panted.

I can feel the tears hot behind my eyes. “Chaeng, I’m sorry, but I need to be with him.”

“Did you really think we’re here to stop you?” Jennie unnie scoffed.

“B-but-”

I was speechless. I knew where this is going. I’ve seen enough dramas to not expect it.

“Oh Lisa…”

When Chaeng hugged me, that’s when my tears start to fall.

“Everything’s going to be alright now okay. You don’t have to cry anymore. We’re sorry about last night.” Jennie unnie cried and joined our embrace.

“It’s going to suck, but we’re still here to support you even though it means you’ll be leaving.”

Wait. What?

I quickly pulled out from their embrace. “Who said I was leaving?” I almost yelled.

They looked at each other and Jennie and Chaeng wiped their tears away.

“A-aren’t you going to quit and elope with Taehyung?” Chaeng blurted cutely.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. “What the fuck guys? Really? You think I’m going to quit? This is why we need to have a long vacation, we’re not in sync anymore!”

“So, you’re not leaving?” Chaeng repeated.

“Who the hell gave you an idea that I was leaving?” I declared almost exasperatingly.

I saw them giving glares at Jisoo unnie.

“Ya, unnie. We’re going to talk after this.”

Jisoo unnie raised a peace sign. Then she looked down as she spoke. “I just thought you were really gloomy last night and I felt like if it’s not going to be suicide then you’re probably going to leave or something. You’re really worrying us Lisa. You can’t be approached without feeling sad nowadays. So I’m really sorry for having to conclude that you’re leaving. I’m just worried when you told us last night that you made a decision and was going to talk to the boss today, you can’t blame us if we reacted that way. You used to tell me everything…how come now you’re not letting us in?”

I’m not the kind of person to talk about my feelings to my friends because sometimes words get in the way. But I think I have to tell these girls that I will never leave them. Even for a guy…unless I’m getting married. Maybe I’ll take a leave…but I’ll come back. That’s for sure.

“I’m truly sorry guys, we shouldn’t have to discuss this here but I want you guys to know that I will never leave Blackpink even the whole world leaves me. Okay? I’m not going to leave! And I’m not going to elope with someone! I just have to get the boss’ permission to date.”

When I said those last words their faces seem to brighten up. Chaeng held both my hand and cheered for me.

“Let’s do it together.”