Finding Clarity

Our love is eternal.

He woke up to a cold bed. He reached his hand over to find an empty place next to him under the covers. He walked to the study, picked up her jacket, and hugged it to his chest as he lay on the couch. He went on like this for weeks. Endless cards filled the mailbox, though he didn't open them. Endless calls rang through his phone, though he didn't answer them. Endless voicemails filled his answering machine, though he didn't listen to them. He couldn't bring himself to leave the bed, let alone go to work.

He developed insomnia, because every time he lay down, he reached over and fell the empty spot next to him, growing colder every day, and every time he fell asleep, he would dream of Maeve. He forced himself into consciousness, only to awaken to an even lonelier reality.

One day, the pain became too great. He sat on the couch, and began writing everything Maeve had ever said to him, tearing up when he wrote the words, "I love you." This took a whole week, and once he'd finished, he read through it countless times.

The following day, he slowly walked to his nightstand and pushed it aside. There he lifted the floorboard and came up with three vials of Dilaudid and a hypodermic needle. He had given up the drugs long ago, but he had kept them hidden here because he didn't know how to get rid of them.

He slid down the wall until he was sitting, and called JJ, his closest friend. She answered on the first ring.

"Hey, Spence, we are so worried about you, how are you holding up?" She questioned.

"I'm sorry," he answered softly, not answering her question, "but I can't do it anymore, tell the team that I hope they understand, goodbye, JJ." He promptly hung up the phone and, wasting no time, stuck the needle into the first vial, and pushed the entire thing into his vein, and proceeded to do this with all three vials.

"Oh, my God!" JJ screamed at the BAU, "Reid's house, now! He's going to kill himself!"

The world began to turn fuzzy as beautiful colors danced in Spencer's eyes, swaying back and forth like a calm ocean tide. And suddenly, she was there, Maeve, standing in front of him. She had not been there before, and yet he didn't see her enter the room with her timid gait. She simply materialized, like a deity. She looked peaceful, normal. "It's okay Spence, you can let go, come with me." She whispered.

Reid faintly registered JJ and Morgan crouched over to him amongst the ever-changing kaleidoscope of delusional patterns, begging for him to stay with them, but he couldn't. He gently took Maeve's hand.

"I'm coming."