LOVE MAZE ✓

XV

my 3 am's weren't so lonely anymore after I met you.

the nights we would spend together were the moments that made me feel carefree and appeased with my present. we would drive around in my car, wasting my petrol but thrilled in each others presence with the windows down. the cold air brushing through your hair and your toothed smile on display as you laughed about how you were driving over the speed limit. we went to a lot of diners where we greeted every passing stranger with a happy- in love smile as you gripped my hand as tight as possible.

it's almost as if us at night was better than us in the day. the Yoongi at night made me feel beloved, gave me attention and held me close. but as soon as the sun rose, you were gone and every tough aspect of reality flooded back.

3 am nights when we weren't together physically, we spent them talking to each other on the phone, our voices providing comfort as we laid in bed staring at the ceiling- missing each other or we typed away until our fingers ached.

the one time we face timed each other, I laughed harder than I ever had in my entire life- my stomach hurt. you were trying your best to stay quiet and not wake your roommate with your laughter whilst running around the kitchen. that is still one of my favourite memories of you because Yoongi ... you were happy.

we spent our 3 am's talking about our future expectations, what our favourite songs are and if the world is a good or a bad place. our conversations were real.

you made being awake sound better than sleeping. when night arrived and the sun set, I knew I'd sacrifice my sleep just to stay awake talking to you because my eyes were sleepy but my heart was wide awake with so much tenderness.

for you.

we were like candles in the dark. glowing, providing light even in the darkest times and although, we give little warmth- we have the potential to burn. I'm comparing us to candles because they eventually burn out, just like we did.