warrior (sequel to fix you)

one- baby scares

// s k y l a r \\

No.

No.

No No No. Fuck no.

NO.

"Oh shit," Emily mumbled and gripped the wall. Jordan was staring at me for an answer, and I honestly don't remember. There is no fucking way I'm pregnant. Is there?

"Skylar," Jordan said, taking me away from my thoughts. I held Rylee's hand as I teared up. "I'm 20 days late."

"Holy mother fuck," Rylee gasped. Jordan felt my stomach again and she leaned back thinking. "Tomorrow, tell Niall you are going shopping with us. I'll take you to the clinic for a test."

"Wait," Emily spoke up. "You don't want her to tell Niall?"

Jordan shrugged. "I could be wrong, and I don't want Niall getting worked up over a baby that he might not actually have."

"Let's hope so," I mumbled. "Guys I'm 20 almost 21 years old. I can't be having a baby right now!"

"Its ok," Rylee said, rubbing my back. "We will think of something."

"And if you really have it, you can always get an abortion." Emily added.

"Em, that's cruel. I'm not gonna kill a human being that I haven't even let live yet." I said. "Jordan what do I do?"

She chewed her lip and grasped my shoulder. "Let's just...keep this between the four of us. No telling the boys. Not even Liam."

"That's gonna be hard because Liam can always tell if something's not right." Emily grumbled. We agreed and I stood up. "So, don't tell any of the boys until we know for sure or not, Alright?" I said.

"Yes," They all said, and we exited the bathroom, waiting 30 seconds before another one of us goes. I stopped in the mirror and ran my hand over my stomach. "C'mon Skylar," Rylee said and pushed me out of the bathroom.

~~

the next day

// s k y l a r \\

It was 11:45 and Jordan was taking us to the clinic at 12. I sat on the couch next to Niall, bouncing my foot nervously. I was showered and ready to go, and I was freaking out. In my head at least. Niall was silently laughing at my nervousness. "Sky yer goin shoppin, not seeing the President."

"I-I know. I'm just...excited." I lied. He stared at me, probably trying to decipher wether or not I was lying. He let it go, leaning back into the couch.

"Alright I'm ready girls," Jordan shouted as she walked out of bathroom, buckling her belt. I quickly gave Niall a kiss and grabbed my purse, running out the door of the bus after Rylee and Jordan, Emily following me. Ned insisted on coming with us, but we refused.

The car ride was silent, and I chewed my bottom lip nervously. "It's gonna be alright." Rylee said, grabbing my hand. Jordan pulled into the clinic, and we all went to the front desk. She signed me in and a doctor came out right away.

"Hi Skylar, I'm Dr. Blake." She said and I shakes her hand as Jordan and I followed her to a room. I sat down on the bench and she wheeled her own chair over. "So...You need a pregnancy test."

"Uh....yeah." I mumbled.

"I felt her stomach, but I thought coming here would be safe." Jordan spoke up. The doctor nodded and exited the room. I looked on the walls and saw way to many posters about birth and what could go wrong.

I grimaced and looked down, breathing slowly. The doctor came back with with a cup, and a hospital dress. "Put this on, and give us urine sample. After that meet me in the ultrasound room, so we can take some pictures."

"Okay," I mumbled, still dazed I was doing this. I said goodbye to Jordan and I went to the bathroom, changing into the hospital dress. I peed in the cup, as gross as that sounds, and followed the signs to the room. I faked a small smile and have the cup to the nurse.

"You take a seat there Ms. Horan," Dr. Blake said, gesturing to table. I paled and took and laid down. She came over and placed her hands on my stomach, pressing hard and feeling around. She then took a seat in a spiny chair and this giant robot thing with a screen came down and almost pressed on my stomach. "Now hold still, and this might feel a little cold."

I seeped air through my teeth as the screen rolled over my stomach, and I exhaled when the camera started rising. She did a few clicks with her mouse and set her hands on her thighs, turning to me. "Well, good news is, you aren't pregnant." 

I snapped my head to her, shocked. "Wait what?"

She turned the screen so I could see. "By now, you should be able to see something in the uterine lining, the size of a strawberry or bigger. But, I am seeing a lot of scar tissue. Do you have any pelvic pain?"

"Sometimes..." I mumbled.

"Pain with sex?"

"Yes," I sighed, slightly uncomfortable. "We haven't...in awhile."

"Skylar, I think you have endometriosis."

That big word struck a small amount of fear in my stomach. As she was explaining what it was, treatment options, and professionals close to home, I held back the tears. I may not be pregnant now, but there is a huge chance I will never be able to.

"You need to get surgery before this spreads and gets even more out of control," Dr. Blake said. I agreed and decided we would discuss surgery dates later. I shook hands with her and got changed, fighting back the tears.

I walked out of her office, getting greeted by Jordan. "Sky what's wrong? Are you..?"

"No," I choked. "I have endometriosis. I...need surgery and I may never be able to have a kid."

"Oh Sky.." She sighed and hugged me, letting me cry into her hair.

"Jordan what if Niall hates me?" I asked.

"Skylar he is not going to hate you. He is just going to be happy that you are going to be okay."

I hoped what she said was true.