Friends / Julian Draxler (completed)

Thirteen

Just friends, huh ? Well, "just friends" don't steal secret glances at each other.

In kindergarten Bea had made me promise that I would marry her. And I think I had made that promise. She insisted on marrying me but that was words from a four year old. That's the problem now with Bea; how can you take seriously her words even now if all my life I have been nothing but giving her false hopes and promises ? And how am I ever going to reject her if I don't want to let her down ? I should clearly have made more careful choices.

- Did you like the movie Julian ?

Ella asks happily from beside me.

- It was okay.

It sucked.

- Really ? That's so exciting cause it has a sequel so we definitely should watch it!

Good Lord, help me.

- Anyways I just wanted to clear the air between us.

- Yes ?

- Listen Julian, you give me mixed signals, one day I think you like me and the other I think you just don't.

- I'm sorry Ella. You're right about that, it's just that these days a lot of things are going on inside my head and...

- Yes. Things. Bea for example.

- Ella if you want things to work between us you've got to realize that Bea will always be a part of my life.

- Bea is a part of my life too! How can she not be after all ? I'm forced to see her everyday both at school and at ballet!

I gave her a look and she lowers her gaze.

- By forced I meant it's my pleasure.

- If you don't want to have to deal with Bea then I'm afraid we can't be together.

- You know what ? I think that these things are all justifications. You just don't want to be with me but at the same time you don't have the balls to say so.

- Yes Bea whatever.

- It's Ella.

She rolls her eyes.

- I'm done talking to you. I really don't know why I liked you in the first place. You should know Julian that boys that are that attached to their "best friends" are not my type.

- And girls that have such a big ego are not mine!

I scream at her as she goes away.

~~~~~~~~~

- Did you by any chance think of what we talked about ?

Bea asks sitting on my bed.

- No.

- So you don't care to think about it ?

- Bea, I'll be honest with you. I love you but...what happened was wrong. I don't want to be sexually involved with you again.

- I bet it's because of Ella.

I close my eyes for a moment, try to calm myself. Girls always think that if you don't like them must be because of someone else.

- It's not because of Ella.

I reply as calmly as I can.