Alice in Never land (Taylor Momsen/ Phoenix Arn-Horn)

Silent.

AIN

PHOENIX

My eyes slowly fluttered open. I see chipped paint of the ceiling. Wow they could do some repainting around here. Maybe it's just me.

Anyways, I sat down and softly checked myself. Still boney, still pale, still sick. However today i don't feel as sick. weird.

Picking myself off of the bed, i trudged my way to the bathroom to freshen my stinky ass. The mirror reflected my very thin face. Hmmm maybe i should eat more. Yeah. As soon as the thought left my mind, a small growling made it's way to my stomach.

Food.

I then made my way down to the kitchen, quietly since i'm the only one awake at this hour. I took spinach out of the pantry and began to sauté it with butter and garlic. I also toasted some bread for my sister and Taylor.

Taylor, she likes coffee. I went to the coffee machine to brew her some. We aren't in the best situation but all throughout the night, she kept popping up in my mind. She is really something.

I placed her mug down on the kitchen counter along with a plate of toast and spinach. I then headed to make Cedes a protein shake since she likes to work out in the morning.

Being sick doesn't have to mean i'm useless. As much as possible i try to act normal. I just want people to like me as me and not pity me. I just wish there is some way to heal.

Soft footsteps made its way downstairs revealing my sister in her workout clothes and phone. "Hey Pheen, OHH IS THAT SHAKE FOR ME." I swore i saw heart eyes popping out off her face. I nodded with a smile. I just cherish her so much, it hurts me to think that i have to leave her earlier than i wanted to.

"Thanks bud. I'll be out for awhile, don't wait up for me." She said as she slung her gym bag on her shoulder. She kissed the top of my head and bolted out of the door. I really don't understand why she likes working out so much.

As i silently ate a shit ton of the leaves i made, I finally heard heavy boots making it's way down the stairs. Taylor's eyes gazed over me then at her coffee mug and plate. Her lips twitched to a smile as she took a seat beside me. She took the mug and searched my eyes, almost asking if I made it for her. I nodded and gave her a lighthearted smile.

She then took gentle sips from her coffee and munched on her greens. She looks so different today. Her blonde hair was up in a loose ponytail and her face was free from makeup. She was wearing a white shirt and leggings. She looked so casual. Her eyes caught mine as we silently did our breakfast routine.

The blonde hair beauty decided to brake the thick silence between us. "About yesterday." She fidgeted. "i'm really sorry for being an ignorant bitch." She continued. "I was just paranoid and curious, I don't want you to hate me or anything." Her tough girl exterior was nowhere to be seen. She looks so venerable and down.

"what's done is done. I'm over it. lets just move forward I guess." I said. Wow first sentence for the day. "Plus i don't think i can hate you for being cautious." Then i remembered. My eyes grew wide as I tugged her sleeve down to expose her creamy white shoulder with what seemed to be a purple mark I caused yesterday. I did bumped her shoulder quite hard.

My eyes darkened, I caused her pain. Her eyes followed my gaze to her shoulder. Her eyes widened with concern. "Oh yeah, my skin is really prone to scratches, marks and bruises." She said. "I'm sorry. I overreacted." Was all i could give as an apology. She smiled at my lame attempt as she took my hand off of her shoulder and placed it on my lap. "It's even then." She pipped.

We took our dishes to the sink and went to the living room. A chime rang out of Taylor's phone. She picked it up. "Hey." She greeted. "WHAT REALLY. OF COURSE YOU CAN COME OVER. NO ACTUALLY YOU HAVE TO STAY THE NIGHT." She paused as she let the other person at the end of the line speak. "Okay, I'll be waiting for you. Stay safe." She said genuinely.

She placed her phone on the coffee table the looked at me. " Umm. That was my friend, she has girl problems. Do you mind if I have her over." She asked politely. Wow that's new. "Hey. It's your house. you can do anything. I can help if you want." I offered. I was actually interested to know about these girl problems her friend had.

I wish I had a love life to worry about. But sadly people like me will only hurt those who we love. Maybe someday though. It's not that late for me.

"Yeah, Im not good with relationships and shit. I can't even maintain mine. Not that i have any." she said timidly. "Is that a way of telling me you're single?" I chuckled.

"Maybe" She smirked.