batfamily groupchat

twenty one

( this is still part of the collab with PlasticStarPaperMoon ! )

[ a bunch of dysfunctional orphans™ ]

stephbrown: if one more person yells "shark!" when there isn't one, i will personally slaughter you all and deliver your removed private regions to the gcpd in a hand basket xoxo

damiwayne: if you try to go anywhere near my 'private regions', i will drown you :)

timbo: please drown jason. if i have to watch him check out roy one more time, i will gauge my own eyes out.

casscain: i would pay to see that

casscain: i would also pay to see jason get drowned by damian, so if you're gonna go through with either of those things, hmu

toddster: i'm not checking him out! have you ever heard of the phrase that the infamous shakespeare wrote? the one that goes "noeth homo"?

timbo: ah, yes. shakespeare's famous "romeo, romeo, i love you, noeth homeo"

toddster: see?

dickiebird: accept the "homeo", jaybird. we all know that you and roy are together.

toddster: nah, man. we're just bros being bros. we drink mountain dew and break rocks in half for fun. we only refer to each other as 'bro' or 'dude'. we are Men.

babsgordon: wait a minute. where is dick?

timbo: ... i don't know. i can't see him anywhere.

timbo: maybe he's behind those rocks?

dickiebird: yeah, i'm just chilling behind the rocks. not starting a campfire. just chilling.

brucewayne: Are you sure you're not starting a fire?

dickiebird: i'm certain.

dickiebird: on a totally unrelated note, babs, please can you fetch me some wood and other flammable objects?

babsgordon: sure

brucewayne: For fuck's sake...

damiwayne: shall i yell "shark" again to scare brown?

brucewayne: No.

damiwayne: i'm gonna do it

brucewayne: Don't

damiwayne: i'm doing it

brucewayne: Stop

damiwayne: too late!

damiwayne: look at the way she's sprinting out of the sea i'm yOdelling

stephbrown: i swear to fucking god, damian! i'll hire a hitman to end you!