crowley: a snowbaz fanfiction

i'm sorry.

SIMON SNOW
Thirty minutes spent going to Oxford looking for Baz were wasted. And I got a speeding ticket. On the way home I pull out my phone. Another reminder of Baz.
Simon: hey
Simon: can we pls talk
Simon: baz cmon
(Read 5:31 AM)
I groan and toss my bed on the passenger seat next to me and grind my teeth as I hastily drive my old nissan into the parking lot. I run up the stairs to our flat, hoping maybe he came back.
Nothing. I slump into a chair I pulled up at the island and scroll through our text messages.
Simon: please answer
Simon: ik ur ther
(Read 11:16 AM)
A single teardrop rolls down my cheek and onto the screen as I read the last phrase.

BAZ PITCH
Snow has sent six texts to me. I don't even bother reading the last one. I just walk through the woods and slump against a tree and my head throbs, as I smell the blood of whatever is nearby.
I finally unlock my phone and read that it is 11:45 PM. I open the iMessage app and snarl as I read "I didn't mean it" from Simon. "Bullshit," I mutter and ignore the slight quiver in my lip.
Why can't he just admit he's wrong...Is he wrong? I ponder these questions and drift off to sleep.

I hear a loud buzz echoing through my head and jump at the sound. I pinch my nose as I push myself off the ground and check the time: 2:26. Damn.
I have about twenty random notifications but one catches my eye.
Simon: im sorry.
My knees almost give out under me and my bottom lip trembles. I bite it hard to stop and sprint back to my car.

SIMON SNOW
11:40. The kitchen.
I send another text.
Simon: i didn't mean it
Then I wish I could delete it. That's such a stupid thing to say. And, as much as I hate to admit it, it's not entirely true.
Most of the time I can ignore this, but there is always a voice in the back of my head saying he cannot be trusted. He's one of them.

SIMON SNOW
I am still up. Sitting at the coffee table. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
It's 2:30 in the morning and the house is silent. No sounds of Penny stirring (she's very much asleep at this point) and no one coming in (specifically Baz, of course.)
It's just quiet and I'm alone, like it was before I went to Watford, or met Penny, or met Baz for that matter, (though we weren't exactly two peas in a pod at that time.
Finally my eyelids and I give up hope and I sadly trudge back to my room and bury myself in bed, imagining it is swallowing me up. Imagining my wings are suffocating me.

The sound of jingling keys and locks being turned wakes me up from my shallow sleep. I lay in bed and listen as the door opens and think this isn't real, Simon. It's just a stupid lucid dream.
But then the door to my bedroom creaks open and a warm, smooth body curl up next to mine and I melt under the pressure.
My wings subconsciously wrap around him and I hear him let out a breath he was mustering inside.
I merge my body into his. He lets me.